Duck and Cover

Cold War Kids, Oct 26 2006
DC9

Last week saw Rock Club reduced to Jumbo Slice and I. Potsy was (and still is) away for work, and Sacklunch was in France living la vie en rose. So that left just the two of us, the sole survivors--I was Charlton Heston in The Omega Man, and Jumbo Slice was a plague-resistant albino. And off to DC9 we went.

This week's show was originally to be The Futureheads at the 9:30, with Cold War Kids opening. I know not what happened to the Futureheads, but they wimped the fuck out and left us all in the lurch. And as I mentioned in a previous post, I don't do research, I just make shit up to fill in any blanks in my knowledge. And thus I can say with authority that the Futureheads canceled their 9:30 show due to stomach pains and diarrhea caused by the consumption of genetically-modified paprika-flavored Pringles. Go ahead, look it up.

Things got lamer at DC9 as Jumbo Slice announced that he would not be staying late due to his participation in the upcoming Marine Corps Marathon. Two points here: (1) He made the announcement in an overly-loud voice, so that everyone would look at him and go, wow, wish I had the motivation and heart to run a marathon, and (2) This was Thursday, and the marathon was on Sunday. You do the math. Don't feel like it? Okay, I'll do it for you:
(3x + 5y)*π = Jumbo Slice's a wuss

There, I've proven mathematically what until now we've only known subjectively. I am a multi-faceted genius.

So here's the Cold War Kids review: I have no idea what this band sounds like live, or even what they look like, because we stayed downstairs drinking beer and smoking cigarettes, instead of actually going to the show. I was able to get a nice buzz on and get home by midnight, whereupon my wife complained that I smelled bad. Also, Jumbo Slice considered but rejected the notion of purchasing a jumbo slice. Hmm, what else...we saw a big rat outside. Oh wait, we also saw a young Pakistani guy in a warm-up suit (similar to what old people wear when they're doing laps around the mall) panhandling. Bizarre.

Anyway, that was Cold War Kids. I'll be pretty cheesed off if these guys become the next Beatles, seeing as how we played hooky instead of seeing their show.