Thursday, December 27, 2007

DC Rock Club Kwanzaa Challenge

As Jumbo Slice noted here, all too often politicians get credit for shit that was actually due to rock musicians. Case in point: the Gulf War.

In 1991 a multi-musician/athlete/actor/carbon blob amalgamation recorded the track "Voices That Care," on behalf of our servicemen and women who were then stationed in Saudi Arabia. Days later, Operation Desert Storm kicked off and all kinds of ass-kicking descended upon Saddam Hussein and Co., who thereafter never caused any problems ever again.

George H.W. Bush got all the cred, but many veterans will tell you, without hesitation, that listening to "Voices That Care" made their bloodlust kick in, and led directly to glorious victory in the desert.

So here's the challenge: in the comments, try and name as many of the participants in this video as you can. Do not resort to Google or Wikipedia. I'll know if you do, and you will be disqualified and humiliated.

I'll wait a little bit and then post the answers. I'll do the first one for you: Ralph Tresvant (formerly of New Edition).

18 comments:

  1. Celine Dion?! If we're going to war, she's about the last person I want on our side. The only people worse in battle than the French are the French Canadians. Back to my list...

    John Fogerty, the dude from Chicago, Al Green?

    Magic Johnson!

    Good god, how can they let Michael Bolton in there? Were they trying to demoralize the troops?

    Either Bell, Biv, or Devoe. I can't tell them apart.

    Whoa, was that Mike Tyson?!

    I'll stop now so others can apart in the game. Excellent video. It's clear this is why we won the first Gulf War. Just as "We Are The World" eradicated all hunger and poverty in Africa.

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  2. Holy shit, I can't stop watching this. It has to be the most bizarre collection of celebrities ever assembled. All in the name of making one incredibly terrible song.

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  3. I was thinking the same thing, whomever it was that let fucking Celine Dion in on this is a traitor and should have been executed as such. No Canadians allowed.

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  4. Watch those hands, Tyson.

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  5. Anonymous12:27 PM

    Drat! I cannot open it.

    Note: I once fell in a hotel lobby and BBD stopped to help me up. Well, one helped me up and the other two stood there. They are obviously dedicated to bettering mankind! That video is magic!

    I am already obsessed with seeing this video.

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  6. Anonymous1:12 PM

    Oh. My. God. I was so obsessed that I borrowed a colleague's computer and it was so worth it.

    Of course, since it is full of pop stars and actors, I could name almost everyone. Once they panned across Fred Savage, I laughed so hard I cried.

    My faves: Ahmad Rashad, "The Boz" with his arm around Lindsay Wagner, Alyssa Milano, blonde Cher, and Nelson. The lead singer of Warrant was a nice touch, too.
    Orel Hershiser?! WTF?! And who was that guy at the end?!

    No video is complete without Shatner.

    PS: It is PETER CETERA, one of our greatest love singers EVER, not "that guy from Chicago."

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  7. I've always admired Savage's voice.

    Also, fair point about Jumbo re "that dude from Chicago." That phrasing is so ambiguous, I thought that he was originally referring to Chicago trombonist James Pankow. And then I thought, no, he must have meant Cetera.

    Note also the solo from Kenny G.

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  8. I looked like Fred Savage as a kid and now I resemble Steve Guttenberg. I hope the real Fred Savage fared better than me in the looks department.

    The Boz's mohawk-mullet is tremendous.

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  9. Anonymous1:58 PM

    SZ--did they try to smack it up, flip it and/or rub it down when they helped you up?

    Randy Travis, Peter &Cetera, guy from Warrant(!), Luther Vandross, Donna Summer, Magic and Michael, Dominique Wilkins, Ahmad Rashad, David Robinson, Garth Brooks, Kathy Mattea, Gunnar and Matthew Nelson--yes!, Michael Bolton, the Pointer Sisters, Little Richard, Bobby Brown, the Fresh Prince, Mark Knopfler, Kenny G, Brooke Shields, Ali McGraw, Shatner, Marcus Allen, Brian Bosworth (??), Wayne Gretzky, Ted Danson, the Gambler, Kurt Russell, Dick Gere and Cindy Crawford, the Fonz, Mike Myers, Kevin Costner, Gary Busey about to explode, Meryl Streep, James Woods, Alyssa Milano, Whoopi Goldberg, Billy Crystal, Sally Field, Fred Savage, Downtown Julie Brown, Dudley Moore, John Lovitz, Jimmy Buffett, Mary Steenburgen, Harry Hamlin, Blair Underwood, Orel Hersheiser, some other guy from LA Law, Al Jerreau, Michelle Pffeifer, Chevy Chase, Steven Stills?, Lindsay Wagner, Janet Jones (Mrs. W. Gretzky), Marilu Henner, Sissy Spacek, Deborah Gibson, Alan Thicke (Canadian), Oprah, Don King, Mickey Dolenz, another guy from Warrant, Jon Bon Jovi, Clarence Clemons.

    You know--from just a quick once over.

    I am a tremendous loser.

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  10. ^^^^^^^^^^^wow

    Tyson was standing next to Debbie Gibson. She since went on to change her name to "Deborah" and she ditched the teenybopper sound. Later she posed for Playboy.

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  11. Anonymous2:29 PM

    Yes--who is the bald guy singing at the end? I figure its the dude who wrote the song, but I am clueless. Is it KC, as in KC and the Sunshine Band?

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  12. Wait, Oprah was there too?! Is she the other person Tyson has his arms around? Please say it's so...

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  13. I have no idea who the guy at the end is. He looks like Dan Deacon though.

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  14. Anonymous2:45 PM

    Rick, they were very polite! One helped me up, another asked if I was okay, and the other one stood there. I have the scar on my knee as a souvenir.

    And you forgot Nicolette Sheridan. And the LA LAW guy is Michael Tucker.

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  15. Anonymous3:12 PM

    Its nice to hear that all of that "Do Me" money didn't go to their heads. I was at a Taco Bell once and Boyz II Men totally pushed to the front of the line. So not all of the East Coast Family was polite, that's for sure!

    There was zero percent chance I could ever remember Michael Tucker's name. Was that Nicolette Sheridan in the Dodgers hat?

    Oprah may be Nell Carter....

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  16. Anonymous3:34 PM

    Yes. Nicolette Sheridan was dating Harry Hamlin at the time. She is right in front of him. Look closely and you can see her making googly eyes at ol' Bolton.

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  17. Okay, here are the VTC participants, according to Wikipedia:

    Lead Vocalists:

    Michael Bolton
    Garth Brooks
    Bobby Brown
    Peter Cetera
    Celine Dion
    Kenny G
    Amy Grant
    Jani Lane (Warrant)
    Little Richard
    Kathy Mattea (nice one, Rick)
    The Nelson Twins
    Pointer Sisters
    Brenda Russell
    Will Smith ("rapping")
    Randy Travis
    Ralph Tresvant
    Luther Vandross
    Warren Wiebe--this is the retarded-looking gentleman at the end

    Choir Members:

    Marcus Allen
    Paul Anka
    Catherine Bach
    Deborah Benson-Wald
    Brian Bosworth
    Downtown Julie Brown
    Jimmy Buffett
    Gary Busey
    Nell Carter
    David Cassidy
    Peter Cetera
    Chevy Chase
    Candy Clark
    Clarence Clemons
    Kevin Costner
    Cindy Crawford
    Billy Crystal
    Ted Danson
    Rick Dees
    Micky Dolenz
    Clyde Drexler
    Sheena Easton
    Sally Fields
    Richard Gere
    Deborah Gibson
    Whoopi Goldberg
    Wayne Gretzky
    Harry Hamlin
    Mariel Hemingway
    Marilu Henner
    Orel Hershiser
    Al Jarreau
    Magic Johnson
    Tommy Lee Jones
    Michael Jordan
    Carol Kane
    Joanna Kerns
    Don King
    Mark Knopfler
    Martin Kove
    Jon Lovitz
    Ali MacGraw
    Gael MacGregor
    Melissa Manchester
    Peter Max
    Alyssa Milano
    Dudley Moore
    Jeffrey Osborne
    Donny Osmond
    Michelle Pfeiffer
    Sheryl Lee Ralph
    Ahmad Rashad
    Helen Reddy
    David Robinson
    Paul Rodriguez
    Kenny Rogers
    Kurt Russell
    Katey Sagal
    Fred Savage
    Jane Seymour
    William Shatner
    Nicollette Sheridan
    Brooke Shields
    Sissy Spacek
    Stephen Stills
    Meryl Streep
    Linda Thompson
    Tiffany
    Michael Tucker
    Mike Tyson
    Blair Underwood
    Jean-Claude Van Damme
    Lindsay Wagner
    Dominique Wilkins
    Billy Dee Williams
    Warrant
    Paul Williams
    Henry Winkler
    James Woods
    Gary Wright

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  18. >> "Warren Wiebe--this is the retarded-looking gentleman at the end"

    Ya know, it only took 22 years, but I think we've finally found Herb

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