Power Pop Kids Rock Backstage at Black Cat

The Loved Ones (with Zolof The Rock and Roll Destroyer)
Backstage, the Black Cat
January 18, 2007

This was actually a triple bill, but for the life of me I cannot remember the name of the first band. We missed them anyway, as we were chewing the fat at Erin's house and took our time getting to the club. Jason remarked that he's making a special chocolate concoction for some kind of ASPCA benefit--a white chocolate dog dish filled with dogfood-shaped chocolate bits. While I pointed that chocolate is, in fact, poisonous to canines, this salient fact was met with indifference by Rock Club's resident chocolatier. Fuck it, the lawsuits will be his problem.

More important than dog poison is the fact that Jason revealed that he made the chocolate dog bowl by constructing a mold out of gelatin. Immediately the point was raised, that a person could make a gelatin mold of his dick, fill the mold with chocolate, and then present the end product to his wife or girlfriend as a Valentine's Day present. Maybe add a creamy center, I don't know. One drawback is that the mold takes like three hours to harden, so you'd have to obtain, and maintain, a boner for that length of time, so you'd probably need to pop a Viagra. Or, alternatively, you could forgo the Viagra and say, "Happy Valentine's Day, sweetie, here's a chocolate facsimile of my flaccid penis. Enjoy."

Okay, on to the show. Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer was up first (actually, second--see above). They're a five piece band. The lead singer is a broad. They have a big sound, with traces of power pop smoothed out with a punk appeal. It kind of reminded me of back in the early 1980s when Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers were considered borderline new wave, rather than the heartland Springsteen/Mellencamp/Dylan type thing they turned into, except Zolof played louder and faster--think of a punkified "American Girl," I guess. This is a blast from the past, but they kind of reminded me of the Primitives, not least because the lead singer resembles Tracy Tracy. I was impressed by this band--good melodies, good energy, good guitar solos.

One serious drawback, and I am noticing this trend with more and more bands, was the on-stage banter. Everybody thinks they're fucking Jon Stewart these days, with their witty asides, and arch, ironic statements (examples: Ted Leo, KEXP DJ John in the Morning). Here's a news flash--Jon Stewart's schtick has been getting on my nerves for about year now, so don't fucking imitate him. Furthermore, a mediocre imitation is even worse than a good imitation. It's not a conversation--you have the microphone, I do not. At least if we were face to face talking, I could tell you to shut up. But I can't. The Zolof lead guitarist actually said, and I quote, "I had this plan to make fun of people at every show, and be like, hey man, nice sweatshirt. But I'm not gonna do that here because I like you guys."

Well, wow. Thanks. I avoided ridicule by some 18 year old numbnuts--phew!

I did like Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer's music, and you have to bring your A-game to rock the Backstage, so I'll give them a 7.4. It would have been a 7.5 if not for the banter.

Okay, the headliners--the Loved Ones. These guys sounded like Green Day and exhibited all the Green Day tendencies--fast songs, earnest singing, dedicated fans. On that last note, there were quite a few people there who were pumped up to see this band, and there was a lot of fists thrown in the air and singing along. So this band has a committed following. I can see why although they're not quite my bag--they hit that teenage guy focus group, the ones who are disillusioned but still hopeful. Sounding like Green Day isn't necessarily a bad thing--I'd rather that than see, again, for the umpteenth time, some knob gyrating about in a spastic manner, emoting like he's Diet Thom Yorke. To the Loved Ones, I bestow a score of 6.3.