Long live rock, I need it every night

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Galaxy Hut + Fake Accents + Magic Hat = 7.8.

(A concert reviewer for the Washington Post once told me to give my opinion up front. Here goes...)
The Fake Accents rolled out a harder, more punk sound at their Galaxy Hut show. Playing a plethora of new songs, the band simply tore the shit up. Tore it up! The performance solidified them as my favorite DC band. I said favorite! Rock Club Rating: 7.8! That's right, a 7.8! Why am I repeating myself? Why am I yelling? And why is my voice so high pitched?

Whoa, I need to settle down. I got a little worked up. Where was I? Oh yeah, The Fake Accents review. The evening began at my place where Jenny made us a nice spread of food and Oliver tried to bite Sacklunch in the nads. It took me many hours to teach Oliver that trick. Soon after the attempted ball biting we made our way over the Galaxy Hut.

The opening band was Impossible Hair. All I remember is they started with a campy song about ponies (or was it My Little Pony?) and then kicked straight into hardcore song. I loved it. However, I didn't listen to them too much because I was busy drinking and giving Potsy unsolicited advice on ass bouncing. I wouldn't hesitate to see them again though. I might even pay attention.

About three songs into the Fake Accents set, I questioned whether I was too kind in my opinion of the band. Were they really that good or was I just enjoying the show because of numerous pitchers of Magic Hat #9? Looking around the cramped bar, it was clear I wasn't the only one into the performance. This was confirmed when the crowd coaxed the band into playing an encore. I've never seen that happen in a small club like the Galaxy Hut. Of course, it helped that the Fake Accents rained thousands of dollars on the crowd, setting off a frenzy unseen this side of a Vegas strip club. Slick move.

While the harder sound and new punk stuff was great, I have one criticism. They have a good thing going with the alternating singers. However, things fall off when the bassist takes the lead. She doesn't have the haunting or edgy vocals of someone like Kim Gordon. It's a stark shift when she takes the mic after a bunch of songs by the guys. The music for her song may have been the best of the night, but the vocals just didn't seem a good fit. I'm curious what it would sound like with one of the guys singing. My guess: better.

Jerry makes it rain.

"Final Thoughts" (my tribute to Jerry Springer. You you read this, picture me extra serious, sitting on a stool, speaking with a self-righteous tone of voice)
Over the past few years, there has been a backlash towards the traditional DC sound. It's considered uncool to sound like a Dischord band. Hell, even Dischord doesn't sound like Dischord. Aquarium, The Evens, Soccer Team? Not exactly Minor Threat. I like the Fake Accents because they don't apologize for sounding like a DC band or for gleaming from Pavement, Sonic Youth, The Pixies, etc. Do they Fake Accents sound like other bands? Sure. Do they embrace the DC sound and do it justice? Fuck yes they do. Do I like to ask myself questions and then answer them, Donald Rumsfeld style? You're damn right. Bottom line, they play fun, instantly likable indie rock. That's more than you can say about 90% of the other bands out there (we're looking at you, Cedars).


Jimbromski said...

Well done. As usual, some points:

1--I was told there was actual Oliver biting, one on Jason's ass, and one on Erin's leg. Confirm or deny.

2--Kim Gordon's voice is "haunting or edgy" if you consider female impersonators "haunting or edgy", like Divine, or RuPaul.

3--As I mentioned offline, your relationship w the Fake Accents guy has compromised your integrity and has left you open to extortion, blackmail, assplay, and lots of other shit that happens to bad people, that I'd rather not mention here in front of polite company. For shame.

Jumbo Slice said...

Yes, Oliver bit both Erin and Jason. Well, nipped is probably more accurrate. I actually feel really bad about that. The past week and half we've done a lot of research and training to get him calmer around guys.

Assplay has officially surpassed Power Bottom as my favorite term.

5DollarBud said...

Cedars do suck giant horse cock.

Potsy said...

Excellent review, Jumbo Slice. Very entertaining as well as accurate. No mention of the really drunk guy at the end of the bar who tried to walk off with our 1st pitcher of beer, though. And how about the fact that you traded a much more valuable pint of said beer for a 50 cent cigarette?

Lastly, and especially for Jimbromski, I didn't come up with this clever pseudonym for myself only to have you use my Christian name on the blog. I don't see what's so hard about this concept. Keep it up and I'll start posting your name, address, phone number, social security number, and pictures of your children (unborn or otherwise) for all the world to see and use for their own devious purposes.