Catching Up With...the Starburst Berries & Cream Lad

This is the first of what we hope will be an ongoing series, which means this one will probably be the last installment. Celebrity is fleeting these days and there's no need to wait, in this era of instant nostalgia, the requisite 10-15 years before a momentary celeb is found collapsed in a pool of vomit, pants unbuttoned, bleeding from his/her buttocks. We can do that now, minus the vomit/buttocks bleeding.

This installment features the much-beloved Starburst Berries & Cream Lad, who enthralled the nation with his merry, bus station-based endorsement of the new Starburst flavor variant in 2007. Here's the little fella:



Guess what? The Starburst Lad has a name, and that name is Jack Ferver. I found an interview with him here. Here are some highlights:

• On how the commercial could have taken a much darker turn: "At the callback I did it at least 10 totally different ways, including crying."
• On why the Berries & Cream Lad isn't as outlandish as he may initially seem: "I live in New York, in the hipster part of Brooklyn, so I see grown men in schoolboy outfits on the subway every day."
• On why the spot took place in a Greyhound Bus station: "Bus stations are time warps. He is not from this time."

I won't ruin the rest for you--read the whole thing. Certainly we can all agree that the Berries and Cream vid was the best ever posted on this site, no?

I know that it's true - it's gonna be a good year

It's the last Tuesday of 2008.

So how 'bout a clip about the new year... this one courtesy of The Walkmen's 2008 release, You & Me .

Liar, Liar, Underpants on Fire

"Isn't simultaneous masturbation the best?"

We're a lot like a family here at DC Rock Club. As the years go by we get together less and less, we argue more, and we all secretly can't stand one particular member. Oh, and I'm guessing Potsy would add: you don't want them crashing at your place if you can avoid it. I bring this up because, like many families during the holidays, Rock Club had a little reunion last week. I flew in from Austin for the week which allowed us to catch the Deleted Scenes show on Thursday night.

Jimbromski and I met at Potsy's for the usual pre-show ritual. It included: assorted beers (though Jimbromski was feeling Merry so he opted for the Bailey's), glimpses of satellite porn, malapropisms (me referring to Samuel Jackson as Sammy Davis, Jr.), a discussion of the year's best albums and concerts, etc. Sacklunch was busy managing the Keebler elves so he met us at the Black Cat. Kudos to Sack for making it out. I would've gone straight to bed had I been working 12-14 hour days for weeks on end. It's not easy producing sweets for the Gentile masses.

We skipped all the opening bands, opting instead to hang in the Red Room and drink. After chatting for while, a guy came up and said hi to me. I responded with a totally blank face. I had no clue who he was until he said his name. We went to college together and it'd been at least 10 years since I'd seen him. One reason I was so caught off guard was his hair. In college he always had very short hair and now it's a more grown out. When I see people I went to school with I expect them to resemble Rock Club - big paunch, receding hair, and an ever increasing amount of back fat.

[Side Note: I forgot the effect Red Room Ale has on me. It gives me horrible gas. I was crop dusting the Backstage the entire show. To the girl behind me, I apologize]

On to the band of the evening: Deleted Scenes. This band confounds me. Prepping for the show, I listened to their EP and some songs off their new album, Birdseed Shirt. For the most part, I really like what I heard. They're one of the best bands in DC (which, sadly, isn't the compliment it once was). The problem is that it's very hard putting a finger on the music. They don't make it easy for lazy reviewers like me to list a few song titles, name three bands they resemble and call it a review. Fuckers. Their songs varied quite a bit during the set and my reactions were almost as varied. Some of the more earnest songs were beautifully delivered but one of them came off as especially wimpy ("Take My Life"? I can't remember). I should clarify before I give the impression their broad sound was a complete turn off. I respect a band that writes, sings, and plays what they please. These guys aren't going for a particular sound or a certain niche of indie rock. They're creative and musically adventurous (whereas I'm creative and adventurous sexually). The results can be hit or miss with such a daring approach to music. In the case of Deleted Scenes though, there are more hits than misses. Songs like "Ithaca" (reminds me of that Road Trip movie), "Turn To Sand", and "Birdseed Shirt" were my favorites but the one song all of Rock Club could agree on was "Get Your Shit Together for the Holidays". It should be required listening before any Thanksgiving or Christmas gathering.

I didn't drawn any major conclusions on the band after seeing them perform. All I can say is I find Deleted Scenes intriguing. I downloaded their new album yesterday and I've already listened to it at 5 or 6 times. Songs I initially dismissed as weak now show impressive depth. There were quite a few subtleties I overlooked on the first listen. I don't know if I'll ever "get" the Deleted Scenes sound but it certainly makes me curious to see them again. Fortunately for me, they come to Austin next month.

While it's important to recount the show, we must move on to the pivotal event of the night. While walking back to Potsy's we came upon a burning pair of boxer shorts. Has that ever happened to you? Didn't think so. The oddest part was they'd just been lit. I couldn't tell if they'd been pitched out a window or if someone lit them and ran before we walked up. Either way, it caught us off guard. Why was someone burning underpants on a DC sidewalk late last Thursday night? Rock Club demands to know. Here's the video that Jimbromski sent to CNN:

We're still waiting for CNN to broadcast the clip. Not surprisingly, the Media Conspiracy is working to bury our groundbreaking video. The truth behind the burning boxers is out there and we intend to find it.

Young and the Rest of us

Another Tuesday... let's enjoy another clip from Youtube, shan't we?

This clip reminds me of the story that sacklunch likes to tell every so often - the one where he and his family participate in Hands Across America - a virtual group hug for the nation.

I forget that in the 80s, someone kept telling rock stars that they could fix stuff by being photographed singing B-sides together.

Merry Christmas

Obligatory Best of 2008 List

We're not doing our annual end-of-year Thorkelsons Awards anymore. Two reasons: (1) Potsy always gives curt, one word descriptors for his nominees, and (2) Sacklunch usually submits his choices in March of the following year. Fuck that shit. Every year I tell them, submit your best of list, and please accompany each choice with a pithy comment. The only one who obeys is Jumbo Slice.

Imagine, for a moment, you are an editor at Us Magazine, in charge of the "Fashion Police" feature. You have this photo of Jennifer Lopez (oh man, call the fashion police...whoo, whoo, whoo (whoo = sound of siren on fashion policeman's police car)). You gather your staff for a meeting. Listen up, staff--give me a good comment on J-Lo's dress.

So obviously the thing that stands out about that dress is, there's maze running from her left tibia up to her left titty. Many jokes come to mind: McDonald's placemats, Pac Man, Tom Cruise in Labyrinth, etc. Here are the comments you would get from Potsy and Sacklunch:

Potsy: that dress is stupid
Sacklunch: I have no comments on this outfit, but I would like to talk about the dress she wore to the Oscars in 2002, if you have the time.

So no more Thorkelsons. I'm splitting out and doing my own list. Here we go:

Best Live Performances

Okay, so the point of this website is for us to get out of our houses, away from our hectoring wives and sniveling children and needy dogs, and see live music. So in this area I feel like my choices are somewhat informed, as opposed to other categories, which as you'll see are mostly dominated by shit I first heard about 10 minutes ago. Best shows of 2008 were:

• Bon Iver (Black Cat, 8-1-08). You could also file this under biggest surprise of the year. I thought these guys were pretty gay and didn't have high hopes for the show. One of the more ridiculous moments in local rock history was a post on craigslist that offered a free ticket to the show to whichever nadless guy or cat-loving woman wrote the best essay on "what moved you most about the album For Emma, Forever Ago." I'm kicking myself for not saving that because I can't find it now to properly mock it. Plus there was the irritating backstory about Justin Vernon and his depression and cabin, to the point where I started having flashbacks to the 1995 Jewel-living-in-her-car-in-Alaska-got-gangbanged-by-a-pack-of-renegade-Inuit hype. And yet, the show was excellent. Vernon bypassed the (predictable) spare, acoustic, folky route, and instead accentuated drums and bass. I swear it nearly sounded like ambient techno in parts. A cool move that made for some nice arrangements on songs that I was sick of hearing. Plus there was a stout gentleman in the audience next to us who came back from the bathroom with toiletpaper stuck to his show, which was fun.
• The Hives (9:30, 3-8-08). You can't beat the showmanship. Made even better by the contrast with openers the Donnas, which is like the contrast between a nice day out at Kings Dominion, versus a few years in Belsen.
  
• Holy Fuck (Black Cat, 3-19-08). March was a good month--in addition to Holy Fuck and the Hives, we also caught the Black Lips. This show featured the first time I'd seen someone use a 1930s stockticker as a musical instrument. It also featured our first acquaintance with local blind indie show guy Ahmed, who we've run into a few times since.

Best of the Rest: Kix/Z02 (Jaxx, 9-12-08), Blonde Redhead (9:30, 1-17-08), the Delta Spirit (9:30, 12-5-08).

Dept. of Of Course I Fucking Missed It: Sacklunch tells me Eagles of Death Metal (9:30, 11-20-08) was his top pick of the year and I have no reason to doubt him.

Biggest Letdowns: I had high hopes for both Super Furry Animals as well as Elbow. The SFA show lacked the freneticism, as well as cool video backdrop and wookie outfits, that I had witnessed at previous shows. Elbow were good, but it's the sort of music that Liam Neeson's character in Love, Actually would sit at home and listen to--oh, me wife's gone an died on me, let me pour a glass of sherry and listen to this soothing, soulful adult contemporary, to keep me from toppin' myself, and leavin' me dear moppet son an orphan. Keep clear.

Have you heard Seldom Scene Kid? I can burn it for you. Yer ma's nae feckin' coming back, though, so wipe that grin off yer face.

Best Albums

I'm on shaky ground here because I don't buy a lot of albums. Exhibit A: in January I heard two new awesome songs from Helio Sequence ("Keep Your Eyes Ahead" and "Can't Say No"). I buy album. I listen to album. Two cool songs, and a bunch of filler. I want to take the CD and throw it at the Helio Sequence like I'm Odd Job and the CD cuts off their heads. I'd have been better off just downloading the songs and leaving it at that, and that's what I usually do. Fuck your concept albums and rock operas, just give me the good stuff.

Nevertheless, here are a couple of good ones from 2008.

• Santogold, Santogold. Four knockout tracks on here: "L.E.S. Artistes," "Lights Out," "Shove It," and "Creator."
  
• Modern Guilt, Beck. I'm not a Beck uber-fan but the man's Thetans were firing on full blast this time around. Wait, Thetans are bad, right? Whatever. "Gamma Ray," "Profanity Prayers," "Chemtrails," "Modern Guilt" and "Profanity Prayers" are all first rate.

Best of the Rest: Songs in A&E, Spiritualized; In Rainbows, Radiohead

Best Songs

Lots of good shit for the mixtapes this year. Here are my favorites:

• "Ark"/"The Old Days," Dr. Dog
• "No One Does It Like You," Department of Eagles
• "L.E.S. Artistes," Santogold
• "This Is Not a Test," She and Him. Very catchy Mamas & the Papas throwback. It would be interesting to see Zooey Deschanel gain 100 pounds as an homage to Mama Cass.
• "The Arm," Islands. Apparently this album sucks. This is a good song. Just goes to show, don't buy albums.
• "Pot Kettle Black," Tilly and the Wall
• "Never Miss a Beat," Kaiser Chiefs. I love this one. Are we supposed to hate this band? I only know what I'm told. Just let me know because otherwise I'll form my own opinion.
• "Oh Man!" Sybris
• "Language City," Wolf Parade
• "Anything 'Cept The Truth"/"Wannabe in LA," Eagles of Death Metal. EODM will pummel your sack like a boxer working a speedbag. It's the UCLA grad student meth.
• "Being Here," The Stills
• "Fernando," Jenny Lewis. I really used to hate her, based soley on "Portions for Foxes," which is a terrible song. But this one's good, and "Acid Tongue" and "Next Messiah" are catchy as well.
• "A Children's Crusade on Acid," Margot and the Nuclear So and So's
• "Rigor Mortis," Wussy. Not entirely sure if this is 2008 but fuck it, it's a great song. An excellent in-car singalong moment when Lisa Walker belts out "here's a cure for rigor mortis/here's a place that you call home":

American Culture: Cheers & Jeers

I wanted to add a category where I could just pass judgment on everyone and everything under the sun without someone saying, how is this music related? Fuck you. And surprise, surprise--I found more things to complain about in 2008 than to laud.

First, the good.

Cheers to Homer Simpson for all his recent charity work!

• New black people on Curb Your Enthusiasm. I never thought they could top Krazy Eyez Killa, or Wanda. But when God closes a door, he also opens a window, and Leon Black entered our world through that open window. Basically CYE is funniest when Larry interacts with Afro Americans and inadvertently says or does something racist. Not since Three's Company has any show so adeptly used the misunderstanding.

Umm, yeah. That's about it. Now on to the jeers!

Jeers to this rusty tailgate

• Neo-Hippyism. Fleet Foxes, Blizten Trapper, Band of Horses...when's it ever gonna stop? Shave your beards and cut your hair.
• Al Davis. You're insane. I wouldn't wish death on anyone but you're fucking testing me, man.
  
• The Demise of the Thorkelsons. Peter Tork's publicist is gonna be pissed. Sack and Potsy, let this sin be upon you and your children.
• FAIL/"Really?" The Jerk Store called, and they're running out of catchphrases.
• Los Campesinos. I wish you would die.
• ScarJo/Jonas Brothers backlash. Scarlett's Tom Waits covers weren't any shittier than 90% of what I heard on the radio this year. Leave her and her beautiful sweater puppets alone, now. Also I saw about 20 minutes of "Camp Rock" while I was waiting at the dentist's office and it was sort of gripping. Can anyone tell me how it ended? Did an uptight counselor get short-sheeted? Was there a Jonas-led panty raid?
  
• Dan Bejar's voice. Talk about a weak link. A.C. Newman's the guts of that band and you know it's true.

Okay, that's all I've got. Sound off in comments if you care that much but be advised that I will delete any comment that disagrees with even a scintilla of what I wrote. But other than that, have at it, chums.

How to Dismantle Tom Snider

It's still Tuesday...

Bono's gotten some bad press recently having been photographed with bikini-clad teenage girls. My reaction: Bono is doing his job as a rock star. He is making me jealous of his life.

He travels the world playing music. Check
He hangs out with hot girls in bikinis. So far so good...

Now, I don't want to see Bono in some night-vision sex-tape with a teenage girl (or anyone else for that matter). That would be too much. But if young girls want to flirt with him, so be it. I can't blame him for that.

And yes, Bono has become a bit insufferable each year he has gone on and on about how I am not doing enough to stop the logging of baby whales with AIDS, etc. And yes, I could do without any more songs like Beautiful Day, and Yahweh.

But let's go to the way-back machine and have a look at when this guy and his bandmates made our acquaintences...

Why U2? There's four of you, why not U4?

There's also this little treat for your amusement too.

The Gitmo Mix, revisited

Here's a list of tracks in heavy rotation, used by the US government to drive detainees bonkers:

• "Enter Sandman," Metallica

• "Bodies," Drowning Pool

• "Shoot to Thrill," AC/DC

• "Hell's Bells," AC/DC

• "I Love You," from the "Barney and Friends" children's TV show

• "Born in the USA," Bruce Springsteen

• "Babylon," David Gray

• "White America," Eminem

• "Sesame Street," theme song from the children's TV show

I'm against the physical mistreatment of detainees, no matter how much they deserve it--the ass whuppins', the waterboardins', the stress positionings. Sleep deprivation is out as well. But playing bad songs at them? Hmmm.

If I were an interrogator, I would be like one of those World War II British guys. I'd play a game of chess with my subject, and puff on my pipe, and say things like, "so you see, Ahmed, we're not so different, you and I...Rook takes Queen, checkmate."

If that tack didn't pay off, I would force Ahmed to watch this Fred Durst guitar solo:


Look what it did to Zakk Wylde:

Too short for an upright bass

It's Tuesday and so on and so forth...

Crap. Half of Tuesday has already passed me by. I could have finished this last night, but instead I chose to watch the Ricky Gervais special (which I fully endorse). The staging for the Gervais special included five, 1.5 stories high, letters spelling out R I C K Y behind the tubby comedian. Yet another image reminiscent of the Elvis 68 Comeback Special.

Anyhow, I stumbled upon the clip below sometime last week -I can't remember why - but I've decided to post it for a few reasons.

1. It's a music video that's essentially about the perils of making a music video.
2. As it attempts to mock other videos of its era, it fails to come out on top, suffering from all the ills of its time that it makes fun of. It's like a greatest hits...of crap.
3. It pokes fun at David Lee Roth mid way through. Or maybe it honors him, you be the judge.
4. It has the potential to reopen the debate as to who was a better solo performer (this time a three way comparison). Phil Collins? Peter Gabriel? Sting? Head to head (to head).

All You Soul-Searching People, C'mon

Nada Surf w/the Delta Spirit and the Jealous Girlfriends
9:30 Club
Dec. 5, 2008

Oh, hello there. My name is Jimbromski. It's been a while since I've posted. You may have wondered where I've been. My answer: mind your fuckin' business. People have been throwing around some big words about my hiatus. Words like "Thailand," words like "penis reduction surgery," and "out-of-network expense/high deductible." Look, just let me live my life, okay? Stop prying. I don't owe you anything.

Anything, except a review of the Nada Surf show on Friday. This one was particularly complex because Sacklunch and I each brought our wives along, as both Nada Surf and the Delta Spirit make cooch-friendly music. Thankfully I was able to convince my sister and her girlfriend to come over and babysit, but we were still late getting out the door. As military types like to say, with any plan, the enemy has a say, and in this case the enemy was my wife and little boy.

Since we started this blog we've sometimes gotten on the guest list for shows which means free tickets, which is nice. Since we're stand-up dudes we try to avoid milking this for shows with local bands, since I'm thinking as a 37-year-old professional I can probably handle the $10 charge for those. But this show was a little bigger so we decided to accept the offer that the Jealous Girlfriends' publicist proffered unto us. However, we have also learned that if a band gets you on the guest list, it's a dick move to show up late, miss their set, and use the tickets anyway. It's just not done.

But, as I mentioned, my wife and wiener kid made us late, so we decided to try it anyway. People are always pulling dick moves and getting away with it, so we figured, yo, it's hammer time, let's try this. Potsy took charge and went to the Will Call window:

Yeah, I have a plus-two, on the Jealous Girlfriends list.
You're at the wrong window.
Oh.

Potsy continued to take charge, this time at the right window.

Yeah, I have a plus-two, on the Jealous Girlfriends list. Last name [REDACTED].
They already went on. Also, you're not on the list.

At this point he helpfully pressed the list against the booth window so Potsy could verify the double-donged beatdown. Ouch. At this point Potsy then went back to the original window to buy tickets:

I need one ticket, please.
You're at the wrong window.
Oh.

Reasonably enough, Potsy didn't want to return to the site of his bitchification, so I had to step in make the transaction. In we went. Now, who's the bigger jackass here? The Jealous Girlfriends, for promising to put us on the list, and not doing so, or us, for attempting to take advantage of their goodwill? I suspect it's us so perhaps it serves us right. Doesn't mean we won't ever try it again, though. I think Jumbo Slice sent their publicist a semi-snippy e-mail before we could tell him that, umm, there's a bit of nuance to this situation, Jumbo. This also another effect of Jumbo Slice moving to Texas, he would have never allowed this to happen. He was our moral compass. At the very least he would have gotten there early to pick up the tickets AND watch the JG set and report back on it. Now look at us, playing fast and loose with ethics, like Nixon or something. Fuck.

Okay, so we missed the Jealous Girlfriends. By this point we're probably personae non gratae with them so I'll just move on now, okay?

We did see the whole Delta Spirit set, and they were wonderful. Ode to Sunshine is one of the best albums I heard in 2008, and the band delivered outstanding achievement in the field of excellence when we saw them at Austin City Limits and also at the Rock and Roll Hotel. Matt Vasquez has one of the best rock voices I've heard in quite a while. He also looks like a Depression-era hobo, whatwith the indie mustache and the mismatched earthtone suit. I think this band has the potential to crossover into massive hugeness a la Springsteen, or even just John Cougar --they're rootsy enough to appeal to the booboisie but alt enough not to seem too VH1. It's a tough mix to pull off but they make it look effortless. Go see these guys before they play the Super Bowl Halftime Show.

Enter the headliners, Nada Surf. I only have one Nada Surf album--Let Go (2003)--but, oh my, what a nice album it is. Nada Surf were on the way to one hit wonderdom (remember "Popular" from 1996?) but managed to resurrect their career (as an aside, this was no thanks to Pitchfork; I generally like Pitchfork and think it's a useful site, but this review of Let Go was, to me, an infamous hatchet job). Bassist Daniel Lorca managed to shock everyone by taking the stage while smoking a cigarette--oh my god, doesn't he know there's a regulation against that? I was more shocked by his Klingon-like appearance.

Lt. Worf

Daniel Lorca

We only caught about four songs of their set--had to get back to the babysitters, you know--but I heard "Happy Kid" and "Inside of Love," so that was cool. I'm told they played "Blizzard of '77," which is a great one:

"Blizzard of '77"
Nada Surf (Let Go, 2003)


So there you are. Another eventful night and some good music. I hate this cold weather though, because now you have to either check your coat, and wait in line to get it back after the show, or wear it and get hot during the show. I swear, I'm never happy and never will be.

SXSW 2009

Momentum is building for SXSW 2009 here in Austin. They've started announcing some of the bands that will be performing (St. Vincent, Beach House, Future of the Left, Passion Pit). I moved here in April so I missed the 2008 festival. At the 2009 event I plan to see as many DC groups as possible. Here are some of the DC bands that made the trip last year:

Apes, Meredith Bragg and the Terminals, The Fairline Parkway, Georgie James (now defunct), Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds, Le Loup, Mingering Mike, Wale, You, Me, And Everyone We Know, Exit Clov, Jukebox the Ghost, Middle Distance Runner, Pash, Samantha Murphy, These United States, and Carol Bui.

Whew. That's quite a list. Some we like, some we mock, and some I've never even heard of. Last year the Digital Freedom Campaign sponsored a showcase featuring many of the bands listed above. Hopefully, they'll do the same in 2009. Now, if I was curating the show (which I'm not), the lineup would look different than the 2008 list. Here are a few of the DC bands I'd want to see:


The Points - People (and the press) rave about their live shows. Here's a sample from a recent show at the Red and the Black:

Imperial China - I've expressed my feelings about these guys many, many, many times.

These United States - The one local band that all of Rock Club can agree on.

Greenland - Jet Age Eric turned me onto this band. You can check out both groups at Comet Ping-Pong this Saturday night.

Roofwalkers - I don't even know if these guys are still around. I saw them once at Galaxy Hut, loved the show, and haven't heard anything about them since.

Statehood - Another band that might be on a short hiatus. If you haven't heard their Lies and Rhetoric album, give it a listen.


The Oranges Band - Okay, technically this is a Baltimore band but who cares. I like everything they've released thus far.

Any glaring omissions? Do you know of any DC bands that are going to SXSW this year?

John Foster Are You Watching?

Judge this cover by its cover:


What'd he scribble on that baby's head? "I love a knob at night?"

I dig that Fred Perry shirt. More on this here.

Done On Purpose

One of my favorite wuss-rock bands (and I have many) is calling it quits. Dirty On Purpose just announced they're breaking up. Why? "We got back from tour about a month ago and sat down to talk about recording another record, and realized we didn't really want to record another record." Pretty straight forward. Although they added one caveat: "Finally, we're all still buddies and live in the same town, so we reserve the right to change our minds and get back together in six months if we feel like it." When DC Rock Club calls it quits (soon, we promise) I guarantee there will be no such civility.

We never saw Dirty On Purpose in concert which is too bad. It would've been fun to see Sacklunch and Potsy next to their doppelgangers (the bassist and guitarist pictured above). We went to one show but their van broke down so we were stuck with the opening band, Cedars (they sucked).

Dirty on Purpose - "Car No Driver"

If you happen to be in NYC on New Year's Eve you can catch their final show at Mercury Lounge as they open for A Place To Bury Strangers.

Longing for the Long Blondes?

Weekday Update

Stereogum has picked up a story from Slashdot about the use of new medical technology that might repair Dorian Cox's stroked-out hand.

Hey Jealousy

Oh, hi Tuesday.

Here's a preview of this week's Rock Club outing, courtesy of spectaculous YouTube. Today we feature a video for "How Now" by Brooklyn's The Jealous Girlfriends. TJG are openers for The Delta Spirit and Nada Surf (headliners) this Friday at the 9:30 Club. When did the 9:30 Club change its website, btw? It's all...new...and whatnot.

Space suits? Excellent.
NYC? Excellent.
Any other ideas? Not really, no.