Long live rock, I need it every night

Monday, January 08, 2007

Listen Up, Assbags--it's the First Annual Thorkelson Awards!

Thorkelsons, 2006, y’all. It’s on.

Admit it, it’s what you’ve all been waiting for. But first, some odds and ends to take care of.

Last week’s post announcing the upcoming Thorkelson Awards Show elicited this comment:

As the publicist for the Peter Halsten Thorkelson mentioned in your blog, thanks for the comments. As they say, there is no such thing as bad publicity. PHT has some very heavy chops in numerous areas, so your choice of award, the statuette of a very heavy winged victory, could work.

We certainly hope that a "Thorkelson" will be awarded to "the Thorkelson" when his new CD, Peter Tork and Shoe Suede Blues, "Cambria Hotel" is released in January '07.

Check out a sneak preview of four of the tracks at http://www.myspace.com/petertorkandshoesuedeblues.

Thanks, an by the way, if you need a world class "Presenter"...PHT did a fabulous job of presenting "Long Island Music Hall of Fame Awards" to Felix Cavaliere of the Rascals and Mose Allison back in October 2006. Check it out.

Marilyn Ingram
for Peter Tork

Alright then, we’ll give Mr. Thorkelson a Thorkelson Award (category being, Lifetime Achievement in the Field of Being Peter Halsten Thorkelson). As we mentioned before, these awards are extremely heavy due to their solid-goldedness so as soon as we scrounge up enough to cover the UPS charges, we’ll get that in the mail to you, sir.

Okay, let’s get it on: the first installment of the Thorkelsons! Remember, these are only the first six award categories. We should wrap this whole thing up by June 2007.


Jason: Without a doubt Sleater-Kinney at the 930 club. Rock at its best. Energetic crowd, 2 encores. Awesome.

Dan: The Gossip. I loved the Sleater-Kinney show, but I knew that's be great going in. Not so with The Gossip. They were a revelation. Totally amazing. I just wish I had caught more of Erase Errata's opening set.

James: The Gossip—this was rock at its best. Small venue, crazed crowd, Black Sabbath riffs, overweight lead singer. Beth Ditto could have convinced all those fans to drink cyanide, no questions asked.

Erin: Art Brut – Top Of The Pops


Jason: I am going to have to go with Be Your Own Pet. The album is good, but the live performance was beat. Just the thought of that pimply faced dude with the Isro, spitting on the crowd. Who the fuck do these guys think they are? Big disappointment.

Dan: Lots to choose from: Bang Bang Bang, Konono No. 1 (due to the overwhelming heat), Band of Horses, Cedars. Let's not forget French Toast either. The worst show, though, was Be Your Own Pet. They were by far the most disappointing. Their album is very good and they had lots of hype. But even their hot singer couldn't save them from a poor show. Looking back, my 3.1 rating was pretty accurate.

James: Be Your Own Pet. A few weeks ago I heard “Adventure” on the radio and was reminded of why this is a good band and why I was looking forward to the show. A pointless waste of time, I should have stayed at home and masturbated instead.

Erin: Bang Bang Bust


Jason: This is a tough one since so far every review has been pretty fair. But I am going to have to go with the Cold War Kids. Not for the harshness of the review, but for the fact that Dan and James didn’t go to the show. That had the potential to be a great live performance in a small venue and you couldn’t muster the energy to go upstairs. Not a harsh review, but just a lack of RC ambition. Fucking pathetic.

Dan: Middle Distance Runner put on a very good show and deserved higher than a 5.9. Calling them "flaccid" was too harsh. I thought they rocked. They were better than Nunchuncks, but not as good as Black Tie Revue.

James: I didn’t mind Arboretum so much. Dan’s review: “I'm going to pretend the Arboretum set never happened. I know I'm passing up some good jokes b/c their dad was playing drums, but I'm trying hard to just forget their long, boring, rock jam.” They weren’t bad, kind of sounded like King Crimson or something prog like that.

Erin: Middle Distance Runner


Jason: I am actually going to have to single out one of my reviews. You guys were right, Gob Iron was pretty beat.

Dan: Gob Iron - a 5.4 ranking for a concert that everyone hated?

James: I wish that Gob Iron had been my show, because I would have busted out the famed two-word Spinal Tap Shark Sandwich-style review: Gob Shite. Whoever rated this 5.4 is a fucking retard, no question about it.

Erin: ???


Jason: There were quite of few, but I think I got the biggest laugh from James’s Dan v. RC conversation about the Vanilla Fudge. There are definitely others, but I think that one is funny because it is so true...

Dan: "Will the Great Rock Club Compromise of 2006 put an end to hostilities, or will it simply delay the onset of a splinter Rock Club, with a membership of one person, and the subsequent death of that one person, probably to take place in some anonymous Pennsylvania corn field, with that person face down in the dirt, pants unbuttoned, bleeding from the buttocks?"

James: Erin’s “review” of The Gossip: “What I imagine my fellow clubmates are really looking for is for me to chronicle how a simple night out on the town to see a fat chick from Arkansas (via Olympia, WA via Portland, OR) rock-out was derailed by tragic events in the Green Mountain State.” Murder/Suicide is always funny, people. It’s how we cope.

Erin: Dan’s review of Be Your Own Pet (“Pet Sounds”).


Jason: Erin's post about that Peaches song. That song sucked.

Dan: "As seen at the 9:30 Club" by Erin for his blatant failure to mention his jawing with a bouncer for no reason whatsoever.

James: Erin’s “Impending Crisis” post of July, for the following reasons: (1) shitty formatting, (2) Frederick Douglass quotation, (3) generally ruining the anarchic/punk rock spirit of RC with a neverending hard-on for stupid rules and regulations. Twat.

Erin: Cold War Kids review (although I liked the part about Dan’s loud marathon announcement)


Jumbo Slice said...

Jason makes a good point about The Cold War Kids review. We were lame to not see it. I also agree w/ Jason that the Vanilla Fudge post was outstanding. However, the mental picture of Erin face down in a corn field bleeding from the ass cracks me up everytime.

Jimbromski said...

yeah, I feel bad about CWK. too late now, though.