DC ROCK CLUB
Long live rock, I need it every night

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Beyond His Schweddy Balls


I know this is supposed to be about rock. Thankfully, I found a loophole. If anyone else watched Thursday night NBC television (I don't think it's right to call it Must See TV anymore), hopefully you saw or Tivoed tonight's episode of 30 Rock. I'm a big fan of 30 Rock. I know that Jimbromski is too. Probably for the same reason I am. Come on, admit it. You have a man-crush on Alec Baldwin, just like me. The guy is aces. Yeah, I know he called his little girl a pig. Maybe she is, though? That's none of my business. I just know that when I have a son, I'll hope he will grow up to be just like Alec Baldwin.

I realize that tonight's 30 Rock episode had a man-crush theme to it (Oh, right. Sorry... I'm supposed to say spoil alert, or something), but that was completely coincidental to my post. I didn't know they were going to air such an episode.

And just so you don't think I'm some Johnny come lately, one of my favorite Alec Baldwin bits is when he plays the Soap Opera Doctor on SNL. I couldn't find a clip of it online anywhere, so you'll have to take my word for it, it was brilliant. He mispronounces all kinds of medical conditions, and goes so far as messing up "Yale Medical School." Oh, ho... I'm laughing just typing about it...yeah, I know. If you like to read, the transcript is here. How about this from David Letterman then? I know it's old. So what. Just stick around for the parallel parking if you haven't seen it already.


Concert Preview: Ra Ra Riot, Jukebox The Ghost, These United States

"We see dead people"

When I saw that Jukebox The Ghost (JTG) was going on after These United States (TUS), I thought it was a misprint. TUS has been around longer, received far more press, put out more music, and toured extensively. In contrast, JTG is fresh out of college (GW, thank you very little) and have only one EP under their belt (or in their pants….whatever. Shut Up. Wait, who am I talking to? Parentheticals are awesome).

Well, after listening to both JTG and TUS, I now see why JTG is higher up on the bill. The songs are pure pop-rock fun. They're heavy on the happy vibe. I'm a positive sort of guy so I like that. Certain moments seem goofy or even a little twee but overall the songs have a upbeat party feel (translation: you can dance to it). There's a certain showmanship in the music that makes me think they'll be an amusing live band. The best example is "Hold It In". Go their site, listen to it, and tell me you don't enjoy it too.

Of course, These United States are no slouches themselves. They receive airplay at our favorite radio station (WOXY) for good reason. We tend to blow off the opening band but I hope we'll make an exception on Friday.

Finally, Ra Ra Riot. They're from Syracuse and have an indie pop/jangly rock sound we're all used to by now. They kind of remind me of Tokyo Police Club meets Arcade Fire meets Vampire Weekend meets your Mom. Yeah, that's about right. I'm a little skeptical on these guys but word on the street is they play high energy shows that leaves the crowd wanting more. We'll be the judge of that...

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Michael Jackson-RFK Stadium-9/21/84


As Jimbromski and I were waxing nostalgic about Quiet Riot and the passing of frontman DuBrow, I starting thinking back to my first concert experiences. I believe that the first live pop/rock concert I ever attended was Michael Jackson on the Victory Tour. It was Sept 1984. I remember my dad coming home with 4 tickets to the sold out RFK show. I went with my folks and my 8 year old brother. Now my parents listen to Buffett and are self-proclaimed "Parrotheads", but thats another story, for another time. All I really remember (keep in mind I was 13 yrs old) is that it was quite the spectacle and I loved every minute of it. What was your first concert experience? Oh, and the Dismemberment Plan playing in your basement doesnt count.....

IndieRock Deathmatch: Georgie James vs Statehood (REPOST)

Edit: Potsy took so long to get this review up that it's since been buried under all kinds of posts, but we thought we'd repost it up here at the top of the blog, since it's funny. As usual his post title lacks the good high-impact pun that we're known for so I was trying to think of some alternatives that are poo-related. Here's a few:
1--(Devil's Food) Cake Parade: refers to Georgie James hit "Cake Parade", combined with brown reference. Although if you have to explain it, it's not funny. Bit of a stretch.
2--Origin of the Feces: nothing to do with Georgie James but I like it just the same.
3--The Rock Show At Pooh Corner

Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments.
___________________________________________________


Georgie James
with Aqueduct and
Roofwalkers 11/16/07 @ The Black Cat $10

Yeah, I know this review is late, and now my tardiness is compounded by a slew of nonsense posted this week which will likely bury this review well under the fold. Some RC members have nothing better to do than to post incessantly for a few days at a time. It's either that or they have exceptional time management skills. Whatever the case may be, I'm weighing in our recent venture out to see local junior rock stars Georgie James perform another local show at our favorite local Black Cat. They are 2007's answer to 2006's Statehood. We've seen them a bunch.

Step into the way-back machine, Simon. It was an interesting Friday the 16th for me personally. I worked from home that day as I was having leaky pipes in my bathroom ceiling repaired. Yup, exciting stuff - I know. This is the life of a single 30-something home owner. So I was stuck home for the day, and without an operable bathroom all day long, no less (for those like myself who don't read much, this is called foreshadowing). Repairs were completed and water stopped dripping from my ceiling and all was well. Time to rock.

RC headed for the Black Cat and found ourselves happily in the mix of the young hipster crowd in the Red Room. I was last to the bar as I was chatting up cool hippy chick Lauren at the door. She has a nose ring. She is good to talk to and easy on the eyes. She works at the Black Cat. I wonder if she can cook. Anyway, by the time I got to the bar, I could tell something was amiss.

I walked in to find Jimbromski and Jumboslice cozied up at the bar with beers in front of them and the bar tender asking me what I wanted. Not too bizarre a scene, I know, but usually one person orders a round for all. So when faced with the barmaid's question, "what can I get you," I froze. "A beer," I answered weakly - obviously confused. It was a busy night and she didn't have time for these shenanigans. Understandably so. What's with the single beer order, fellas? Do I owe someone money? I quickly asked for a Red Room Ale, the "Mr. Pibb" of beers on tap. Or as Jumboslice likes to call them, "Black Cats." I began enjoying my Red Room Ale (RRA), paying no mind to our recent discussion about how there is something about this beer that unsettles the stomach.

We went upstairs to check out the second band, Aqueduct (sorry Roofwalkers, I didn't see you, so I've got nothing to say about you). I had no idea what song these Aqueduct musicians were playing, but it was a catchy little hip-hop jingle, and it had me all fired up. I soon learned that this was Warren G and Nate Dog's Regulate, and not Aqueduct's normal shtick.



After that, they turned to play something less interesting that I assume they wrote themselves. This was about the time that I felt like Jimbromski at the Mozzer concert (see his post). So I left and headed to the cleanest WC in the neighborhood. Sorry Bar Pilar. Everything was fine until someone started knocking on the door, and it was time to move on. I headed back to the show in plenty of time to catch the opening of Georgie James.

Unlike some of my rockmates, I am deaf and blind to this band's imperfections. I'm like a teenage girl at a NKOTB concert circa 1991 when I see Laura Burhenn. The screaming, the crying. It's embarrassing. I was quickly into this show. RC readers will remember that Georgie James has already been featured on our site for their August Fort Reno performance, and before that in May for their performance at the Onion's kick-off. I also had a lovely conversation with Ms. Burhenn at the bar at the RnRH after Jimbromski and I conducted the interview with 1990s. Here's a recap of the aforementioned:



As I said, I was quickly into this show. But after song number 3, the RRA started to cause some trouble and I was soon wishing I was back at Bar Pilar. I have to think the RRA and my day without an operable loo conspired to scuttle my dreamy evening with Laura. The rest of RC knows that I had to step out (again) to take care of unfinished business at this point in the night, but what they don't know is that I actually went all the way back to the rockclubhouse. I didn't think returning to Bar Pilar was really an option.

Shitbreak Finch

Anyway, I hustled my way back from home to catch the last three songs of Georgie James and found that the rest of RC had headed downstairs before the show ended. They weren't impressed. I thought the beginning and the end of the show were great. I also noticed that the guitarist was sporting a Ted Leo shirt. I mention this only because Jumboslice had been lobbying for us to check out Ted and his druggists for an upcoming RC show. I took this photo for you Jumboslice.

You like Ted Leo too, Jumboslice? Yay!

I have yet to mention the high volume of young hot chicks at this show. I think I was actually accused of picking this show precisely because of that, even though I had originally suggested we check out VHS or Beta for the week's show. But no one could commit to it earlier in the week. Anyhow, I only mention the higher than normal chick-quotient as it relates to my RC review scale. Georgie James is certainly a band that can get you laid. Especially if you're a 16 year old dude from the burbs with a car. I think there were lots of young'uns there.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

I expect to see a big fat ass-kissing question on here from you Jumboslice...


Rocker and activist Ted Leo will be online Wednesday, Nov. 28 at noon ET to take your questions about his career, music, politics and whatever else you want to talk about.

Submit your questions and comments before or during the discussion.

Oh for fuck's sake

Jumbo Slice just left a comment on my post here asking "who's Leon?"

Jesus goddamn Christ on a popsicle stick. I am so tired of people who cannot/will not keep up with popular culture.

And don't give me all that "oh, I rent the DVDs when they come out and watch them all at once." You've missed the moment. I got no patience or time for people who want to discuss season 8 of Trapper John M.D. in 2009.

Okay, Slice (and Potsy, I know you do this too), I'll explain. Leon is a character on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Curb Your Enthusiasm follows the exploits of Larry David. Larry David invented Seinfeld. Seinfeld was a popular sitcom in the 1990s. A sitcom is a combination of the term "situational comedy." These are all TV terms. "TV" is an abbreviation for "television," and last but not least, television was invented in 1802 in Reggina, Italy by Gianpietro Marconi.

This is the "e-jack-a-lit" clip:



Here's another awesome Leon moment:



So that's Leon. Thus endeth the lesson.

Review Template

Jimbromski just sent this rather amusing email that I couldn't let go unpublished, slightly edited.

My review template from now on:

"On [INSERT DATE] my friends and I went to see [BAND] at [VENUE]. [BAND] was excellent and the crowd was friendly and good-looking. I spoke to [RC MEMBER] about how impressed I was with [BAND] and wondered when they would hit it big and take over the music world, because they've already taken over my heart. For a more substantive account of the show, please got to [other music blog.com]. RC Rating: Three hundred bazillion gazillion."

I will also post a picture of a kitty playing with a ball of yarn.



Let's not forget what this blog is for, peoples. Entertaining ourselves first, since 2006.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Kevin Dubrow KIA

EDIT: As you can see, the love for Dubrow is such that Sack and I posted obits within two minutes of each other today. Truly, the man was a giant. Who's up for organizing a benefit concert?
________________________________________

Requiescat in Pace
for the lead singer of Quiet Riot, found dead in his Las Vegas home earlier today.

As The Righteous Brothers sang, if there's a rock and roll heaven/you know they got a hell of a band. I doubt that band would let Dubrow anywhere near the stage but I don't think it's unfair to assume that they'd at least let him help set up the equipment or work the merchandise table.

80s metal is widely regarded as a joke today and for the most part deservedly so, but let us not forget that Quiet Riot were pretty awesome in their day, even if only for two hits. I had Metal Health on vinyl and I know for a fact that Sacklunch used to draw that stupid mask on his Trapper Keeper (TM). Plus, as my friend Ted always points out, they had one of the best lyrics ever, at least from the perspective of a 7th grader: wanna kiss your lips, not the ones on your face. Outrageous! Additionally, I admire the entirely unsubtle way Dubrow dealt with his hair loss:

Before

After


I laugh when I read that "the cause [of death] was not immediately known." The man died of The Rock, people. No need to bring fucking Quincy on the case or anything.

R.I.P Kevin DuBrow



I know Jimbromski will be devastated by this news. I remember owning the Metal Health cassette when I in middle school. I used to draw that stupid mask on my Trapper Keeper.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Kevin DuBrow, lead singer of the popular 1980s heavy metal band Quiet Riot, has been found dead from unknown causes at his home in Las Vegas, authorities said on Monday.DuBrow, 52, was found dead at about 5:20 p.m. on Sunday, a spokeswoman for the Clark County Coroner's Office said. She said an autopsy would be conducted to determine the cause of death."I can't even find the words to say," Quiet Riot bandmate Frankie Banali said on his Web site. "Please respect my privacy as I mourn the passing and honor the memory of my dearest friend, Kevin DuBrow."Quiet Riot, which was founded in the mid-1970s, topped the Billboard charts in 1983 with the album "Metal Health," spurred on by the massive hit single "Cum on Feel the Noize."The band has since endured break-ups and personnel changes but released a new album in 2006 and continued to tour sporadically.

Mr. Axelson


Hey City Paper, remember when you stole my picture? Yeah, I thought so...

The City Paper has a nice article on Eric's transition from rocker to teacher/part-time rocker. They even came up with a witty title which references the Plan's first single, "Can We Be Mature?" (released when we were still in college).

Statehood's new album, Lies and Rhetoric, was released on November 19th followed by a CD release show last Wednesday at the Black Cat. I'll post my review of the album in the next week or so.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Covers pt II

Thought of a few more covers I liked whilst munching on my bacon this morning (Oscar Mayer maple-flavored, it's excellent and conducive to deep thinking).

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the most-covered bands/artists are (1) The Beatles, (2) Bob Dylan, (3) Motorhead, (4) The Kinks, and (5) Crazy Town. The four covers below are of The Kinks.

"Victoria," The Fall

The original may have been slightly tongue-in-cheek but you got the sense that Ray Davies really did look back fondly on the 19th century. Mark E. Smith was just being sarcastic here.

"Days," Kirsty MacColl

As Wallace said to Grommit, "well, I thought that was quite nice." MacColl was killed while swimming off the coast of Mexico when she was hit by a speedboat. No word on whether Gloria Estefan was driving the boat.

"David Watts," The Jam

More up-tempo with an Oi! feel than the original. One of the Jam songs sung by bassist Bruce Foxton, rather than Paul Weller.

"You Really Got Me," Van Halen

Re-invented for the coked-up 1980s (well, 1978, anyway). Lots of pelvic thrusting and jumping around.

On a side note, does anyone else think David Lee Roth is gay? This has been an ongoing debate in Rock Club for over a year.

Some arguments against DLR's homosexuality:
1--banged all those chicks
2--cursed a lot
3--sang a lot of songs about banging all those chicks
4--America couldn't handle it if he did turn out to be gay
5--shows no signs of full-blown Henry IV

Arguments for DLR's homosexuality:
1--flamboyant dress sense
2--wears tight pantaloons/dungarees
3--love of show tunes/Broadway ("Just A Gigolo"--hmmm? Hmmm?); also does that scatting thing all the time ("bop bud zee budzee bop, titti-bop, titti-bop"...although in this example the phonetic sound for "titty" is used twice, so who knows)
4--called in as special consultant for Saturday Night Live "Schmitz Gay" commercial
5--emphasizes crotch-thrust move when dancing

My verdict:
Roth is pansexual, meaning he'll put his dick into any available orifice--a tree knot, Star Jones, Mammoth Cave KY, etc.--in order to get a nut. Other notable pansexuals include David Bowie, Mick Jagger, Abraham Lincoln and Sack Lunch's mom.

Case Closed: Pansexual

Covers, uncovered

What makes a good cover? My careful analysis has narrowed it down to a few key elements:

  • High threadcount
  • Soft feel, like a puppy’s belly
  • Lack of mysterious crusty stains, odor of vomit
  • Generous surface area, so as to be used as an effective shroud, should you die in bed
Leon: E-jack-a-late?

But what are the elements of a good cover song? Now that’s more difficult to pin down. I reduce a good cover to two points only—the cover can’t be too similar to the original, but neither can it be too different. So there’s a lot of latitude in between those two poles.

FAIL: “All My Friends,” Franz Ferdinand (orig. by LCD Soundsystem)

In my opinion, this version of the song is too close to the original. I still like it because it’s one of my favorite songs being covered by one of my favorite groups. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe it is good. Can’t make up my mind.

PASS: "Nowhere Man,” Low (orig. by The Beatles)

I can make up my mind about this one, it’s perfect. It’s no surprise that The Beatles are the world’s most covered band. Low’s version is stripped down, spare, and simplified, and completely changes the tone and meaning of the original. The Beatles were optimistic that the nowhere man could somehow rejoin the world, but Low doesn’t seem as sure about that.

FAIL: “Billie Jean,” Chris Cornell (orig. by Michael Jackson)

No, not really. Maybe if Cornell had rocked it out and added some sort of yeah-I-fucked-her-and-knocked-her-up, what-of-it? feel to this, then it may have worked, but this just never gets off the launching pad. Butchered.

PASS: “Smooth Criminal,” Alien Ant Farm (orig. by Michael Jackson)

How does it feel to be a third tier band in an execrable genre? Don’t know, but if I run into any members of Alien Ant Farm, I’ll ask them. Odds are I’ll never see them given that I avoid loitering around the various men’s rooms of the Port Authority. However, I include this cover in contrast to Cornell’s. Not bad. See? When in doubt, do a rave up.

FAIL: “Alone Again Or,” The Damned (orig. by Love)

There’s nothing separating this cover and the original. So little difference that until about four years ago I didn’t realize that this one wasn’t the original. Still sounds good but given two identical things I’ll prefer the one that came first, I guess.

PASS: “Black Steel,” Tricky (orig. by Public Enemy)

This is a cover of Public Enemy’s “Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos.” Again, when in doubt, speed it up and rock out. But don’t get too creative with it—there’s a reason the original was so popular.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Snivelling, Grovelling Apology

On the advice of my publicist, lawyer, and life coach, I am posting this picture to soften my image:

Self-righteous prick with cute puppy

Just yesterday I fired off a quick review of the Hold Steady/Art Brut/1990s show. I made some insulting comments about some people standing next to me. In retrospect it was pretty lame and I regret putting it out there. A few points--(1) the girl I made fun of is, in fact, pretty good looking. (2) The dude I made fun of was simply enjoying the show and I can't front on that. Well, I did front it, but there you go. A few points--Cristiano Ronaldo is an excellent midfielder. He costs 22 million pounds in my English Premier League Fantasy League and I can't afford him, and am thus in third place. Also, Brian Austin Green was one of the strongest characters on 90210, especially when he got hooked on meth and threw Donna down the stairs.

Finally, regarding the use of the word "supertwink", I have a snapshot of myself from back in the day wearing pointy black shoes from Le Chateau, a cardigan sweater, and thrift store shorts. I'll post it when I get back from Thanksgiving in CT. I was cold twinkin' before any of you--going to Tracks to dance to Erasure and the Communards, putting up giant Smiths posters in my room, spending way too much time fixing my hair, and acting all alienated. Sacklunch was just as bad--the first time I saw him in high school he was wearing a really long cardigan with a turtleneck, baggy pants, and some kind of beaded necklace. He looked like a 16-year-old version of Bea Arthur, or perhaps Luke Skywalker's gentle aunt in Star Wars, before the the Sandmen killed her. But I digress.

I make fun of people for all sorts of things here but I probably shouldn't make fun of how people look. I have bad skin, a receding hairline, perspire too much, don't wash my taint nearly as much as I should, and could stand to lose 10-15 pounds. So, in conclusion, my sincere apology to the two people standing next to me at the show.

Sail Away



On Saturday, Maritime comes to town to play the Rock & Roll Hotel. You might remember that Eric Axelson was once the bassist for them. I'm not familiar with any of the opening bands (The One Am Radio, Paul Michel, Tereu Tereu) but I've really enjoyed Maritime's last two albums. The first was just okay.

If you're around on Saturday and looking to go out, I'd highly suggest this show.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

Hold Steady/Art Brut/1990s
Nov. 20, 2007
9:30 Club

Okay, Thanksgiving isn't until tomorrow, but I wanted to use that famous quote from WKRP's Arthur Carlson and couldn't contain myself.

First up, 1990s. Rock Club saw this band at Rock and Roll Hotel in August, and, lo, it was good. Thus speaketh Rock Club. We even had the privilege of interviewing the band courtesy of Su the publicist at World's Fair and on this show Su set us up yet again with guest list tickets. I share this detail with you only to let you know how connected/hooked up/switched-on we are here.

Scotland may not be able to produce a single competent orthodontist but they certainly grow good pop bands. 1990s began playing to a half-empty club. Jumbo Slice and I made our way to the front quite easily and settled in to enjoy the show. Plenty of room for everyone, and yet a certain six-foot-plus lantern-jawed chick stood directly in front of me and blocked my view. Unbelievable. Accompanying her was a some supertwink guy with frosted hair who looked like a cross between Brian Austin Green from 90120 and Christiano Ronaldo. The band opened with "Cult Status", which contains the line "my cult status keeps me fucking your wife." It's a stupid line the detracts from an otherwise cool song. Anyway, Ronaldo shouted it out at the top of his lungs, and Femme Jay Leno laughed. That's comedy these days. I pointed out to Jumbo Slice that 1990s must be talking about his wife, not mine. All in all, a good show from 1990s. I'm looking forward to the next album--I think they'd be stronger if they just trusted their pop instincts and dropped some of the more ponderous numbers about clowns and puppetmasters.

Okay, next--Art Brut. This was Rock Club's second Art Brut show. Plus I attended a third show way back when before RC even started. I can now say that it is my fixed opinion that one Art Brut show is probably sufficient for the average bear, but at the same time I recommend that everyone in the whole wide world see the band at least once. Even people in Darfur should go, just to get a respite from the killing and whatnot. I think they'd dig it. (EDIT--What I meant to say here is, Darfur is a very serious situation which no one should ever ever joke about. Ever. I bought a "Not On Our Watch" sign and planted it in my yard. It's there right now, effectively addressing the situation.)

Here is a picture of a kitty cat playing with a ball of string. Who could possibly be offended by this?

I've gone on at length about how I hate banter, but the truth is, is that I just hate boring, uninspired, unfunny banter. Eddie Argos does it right. Don't stop giving us the banter, Ed. Unnh, unnh. Banter us all night, baby. Yeah. Argos and co. did the exact same things they did the other two times--the call & response, the crowd clapping, using the microphone as a jump rope, running into the audience. It's all tired and has been done before and yet it still amuses and entertains me. The songs from the second album don't leave a mark--It's a Bit Complicated should have been called It's a Bit Average--but everything from Bang Bang Rock and Roll was ace.

On to the act at the top of the marquee--The Hold Steady. I really hate these guys but was willing to give them a chance. I've changed my mind before. They certainly have a big sound--there was lots of guitar and yelling and people jumping about on stage. Good start, I like that. Indie bands, quit standing around like you're some fucking art school dickhead. I grew up with heavy metal and all those bands had giant stages, and everyone would always jog around. It looks cool. Plus you get fit at the same time. Listening to HS (do the true fans call them "The Steady"? I wonder. I hate it when people act all inside-y and abbreviate shit...hey man, put The Steady on!) I realized that Fake Accents Dave was correct about them. They don't sound so much like Bruce Springsteen as they do Thin Lizzy. During the glorious heyday of allofMP3.com I shelled out a hard-earned $1.38 for Jailbreak and was well-pleased that I did (regarding allofMP3.com, I still live my life according to the maxim that if Putin thinks it's legal, then it probably is. Last week I killed a Chechen on the Metro, just for kicks. Felt good, man.). "Jailbreak" is the best song on that album but "The Cowboy Song" is the track that to me sounds most like Craig Finn. Enjoy this video--it's a tribute to the late great Phil Lynott, who to the best of my knowledge spontaneously generated out of the peat to become Ireland's only black man ever. I'm not entirely sure about that but I'll check Wikipedia and get back to you.



Hold Steady's songs aren't bad and I think I was a bit unfair to label them as a threat to the American Way of Life. I just can't get past Finn's voice, however. The snarling, the yelling. Lynott had a cool voice, Finn has a phlegmy-cat-in-estrus voice. It made my head hurt and I left early. I get it, though. It's okay to like them, I won't say boo.

RC Ratings: 1990s--6.2; Art Brut--6.5; Hold Steady--5.9

IndieRock Deathmatch: Georgie James vs. Statehood


Georgie James with Aqueduct and Roofwalkers 11/16/07 @ The Black Cat $10

Yeah, I know this review is late, and now my tardiness is compounded by a slew of nonsense posted this week which will likely bury this review well under the fold. Some RC members have nothing better to do than to post incessantly for a few days at a time. It's either that or they have exceptional time management skills. Whatever the case may be, I'm weighing in our recent venture out to see local junior rock stars Georgie James perform another local show at our favorite local Black Cat. They are 2007's answer to 2006's Statehood. We've seen them a bunch.

Step into the way-back machine, Simon. It was an interesting Friday the 16th for me personally. I worked from home that day as I was having leaky pipes in my bathroom ceiling repaired. Yup, exciting stuff - I know. This is the life of a single 30-something home owner. So I was stuck home for the day, and without an operable bathroom all day long, no less (for those like myself who don't read much, this is called foreshadowing). Repairs were completed and water stopped dripping from my ceiling and all was well. Time to rock.

RC headed for the Black Cat and found ourselves happily in the mix of the young hipster crowd in the Red Room. I was last to the bar as I was chatting up cool hippy chick Lauren at the door. She has a nose ring. She is good to talk to and easy on the eyes. She works at the Black Cat. I wonder if she can cook. Anyway, by the time I got to the bar, I could tell something was amiss.

I walked in to find Jimbromski and Jumboslice cozied up at the bar with beers in front of them and the bar tender asking me what I wanted. Not too bizarre a scene, I know, but usually one person orders a round for all. So when faced with the barmaid's question, "what can I get you," I froze. "A beer," I answered weakly - obviously confused. It was a busy night and she didn't have time for these shenanigans. Understandably so. What's with the single beer order, fellas? Do I owe someone money? I quickly asked for a Red Room Ale, the "Mr. Pibb" of beers on tap. Or as Jumboslice likes to call them, "Black Cats." I began enjoying my Red Room Ale (RRA), paying no mind to our recent discussion about how there is something about this beer that unsettles the stomach.

We went upstairs to check out the second band, Aqueduct (sorry Roofwalkers, I didn't see you, so I've got nothing to say about you). I had no idea what song these Aqueduct musicians were playing, but it was a catchy little hip-hop jingle, and it had me all fired up. I soon learned that this was Warren G and Nate Dog's Regulate, and not Aqueduct's normal shtick.

After that, they turned to play something less interesting that I assume they wrote themselves. This was about the time that I felt like Jimbromski at the Mozzer concert (see his post). So I left and headed to the cleanest WC in the neighborhood. Sorry Bar Pilar. Everything was fine until someone started knocking on the door, and it was time to move on. I headed back to the show in plenty of time to catch the opening of Georgie James.

Unlike some of my rockmates, I am deaf and blind to this band's imperfections. I'm like a teenage girl at a NKOTB concert circa 1991 when I see Laura Burhenn. The screaming, the crying. It's embarrassing. I was quickly into this show. RC readers will remember that Georgie James has already been featured on our site for their August Fort Reno performance, and before that in May for their performance at the Onion's kick-off. I also had a lovely conversation with Ms. Burhenn at the bar at the RnRH after Jimbromski and I conducted the interview with 1990s. Here's a recap of the aforementioned:



As I said, I was quickly into this show. But after song number 3, the RRA started to cause some trouble and I was soon wishing I was back at Bar Pilar. I have to think the RRA and my day without an operable loo conspired to scuttle my dreamy evening with Laura. The rest of RC knows that I had to step out (again) to take care of unfinished business at this point in the night, but what they don't know is that I actually went all the way back to the rockclubhouse. I didn't think returning to Bar Pilar was really an option.

Anyway, I hustled my way back from home to catch the last three songs of Georgie James and found that the rest of RC had headed downstairs before the show ended. They weren't impressed. I thought the beginning and the end of the show were great. I also noticed that the guitarist was sporting a Ted Leo shirt. I mention this only because Jumboslice had been lobbying for us to check out Ted and his druggists for an upcoming RC show. I took this photo for you Jumboslice.

You like Ted Leo too, Jumboslice? Yay!

I have yet to mention the high volume of young hot chicks at this show. I think I was actually accused of picking this show precisely because of that, even though I had originally suggested we check out VHS or Beta for the week's show. But no one could commit to it earlier in the week. Anyhow, I only mention the higher than normal chick-quotient as it relates to my RC review scale. Georgie James is certainly a band that can get you laid. Especially if you're a 16 year old dude from the burbs with a car. I think there were lots of young'uns there.

The Shaggs


I was reading Blender's list of the "100 Greatest Indie Rock Albums Ever" (we should discuss this in another post) and I noticed a band called The Shaggs at #100. I hadn't heard of them. I did some research and discovered they're a legendary band. Here's their bio on Rhapsody:


The Shaggs were four teenage girls living in Fremont, New Hampshire, in the late 1960s, who were forced to form a band and play music by their insane father. With no training and no apparent understanding of music theory, the girls came up with music that defies categorization. Their one album, Philosophy of the World, recorded in 1969, sounds like nothing that has come before it or since. The girls' sense of rhythm stands outside the parameters of mathematics and the vocal harmonies they employ so closely follow the guitar lines that it creates a weird atonal quality. Their extremely severe New England accents didn't help the musicality either, making their singing sound even more bizarre. The Shaggs have long been the butt of many jokes, and their music is considered the pinnacle of laughable oddities by record geeks and hipsters, but the poor girls were more the victims of abuse than misguided fame-seekers. On the advice of a fortune teller, their father formed the band and secured them a weekly gig at the local auditorium. In interviews the girls have described their reception by the people of their town as anything but positive, but they were forced to play anyway. Heaping insult upon injury, the girls had to clean the auditorium after their shows. But in the end, the songs totally blow any fake simplistic garbage Jonathan Richman or Jad Fair wrote out of the water, or any other jokers who've made a name for themselves by acting like they were deconstructing pop music because they didn't know any better. The Shaggs' music may be awful, but it remains some of the most unique and guileless stuff ever recorded.

- Mike McGuirk



An insane father forces his daughters to play in a rock band? Anyone else see this happening to Sacklunch's kids in about 10 years?

I listened to their entire catalog - all 25 songs. It was rough. The music is bizarre and unfathomably bad. Yet somehow I can't the song "My Pal Foot Foot" (a song about their cat) out of my head. You can listen to it at their MySpace page.

Also, what kind of father names his daughters band The Shaggs? Seriously, that's messed up. Oh, right. He was insane. I guess that explains it. Never mind...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Welcome To Coffee Talk

Menomena is neither Friend nor Foe. Discuss.


Welcome to Coffee Talk. I'm your host Jumbo Slice. Instead of the standard review, we're having a round table discussion of Menomena and Illinois. The evening was unique since we were accompanied by a reporter and Washington Post photographer (don't go looking for that article any time soon). The media attention was fun, but the concert provided the real highlights. Let's dive right in...

Topic One: Illinois

Jumbo Slice: I liked when the Menomena dude was playing sax w/ Illinois. The sound was really deep and heavy, like an air horn. I really thought Illinois was good. Of course, I had pretty low expectations. The band really can rock out. Too bad they'll always be held back by their singer.

Potsy: Yeah, unlike the Spoon show where some extra horns weren't necessarily a good thing, a little extra horn worked out well for Illinois. I was happy to see Illinois perform better, and rather than harp on what a toolbag Chris Archibald can be, I'd like to congratulate him on toning it down a bit this time. He's still a toolbag, but at the end of the show I actually did introduce myself to him, and tell him I thought they were better than last time at the RnRH. I was a little drunk, so I figured I was allowed. I asked him if his sister was in the crowd (hearkening back to the misguided "for he's a jolly good fellow" fiasco). Archibald said she was in fact there, but that he spared her the embarrassment this time around. He spared himself the embarrassment too. Illinois is frat rock, but it could evolve into something better. They have the right DNA for it, they just need a little time and corrective influences. Maybe Menomena can help.

Jimbromski: Illinois sounded great. Their songs are catchy and well-executed, on the plus side. It's a matter of personal taste, but...catchy and well-executed they may be, but they still sound a little too much like frat-rock to me. They're in danger of becoming the 2007 update of Sugar Ray/311, especially with that faux-rapping-through-the-telephone song they did. It's not a bad song, but again, it sounds like Sugar Ray to me. Other than that song they sounded like a pretty tight hard rock band.

In the end the antics of the lead singer keep me from enjoying this band. His banter was less than last time but he still couldn't contain himself. My biggest impression from this show is that they're not a group of hacks/shoemakers like I thought based on the RNRH show, they do in fact know what they're doing up there. Potsy commented that the sound at the Black Cat was, for once, excellent, and this helped them.

Sacklunch: I still can’t get into the Illinois. The music is pretty good and when we came upstairs they were definitely rocking the joint. That “rap” song thing killed it for me. James comparison to 311 is spot-on. That guy needs to stop trying so hard. We get it, you want to be a rock star and you used to hang out with the Hold Steady. Grow-up.

Jimbromski: Okay, we're all in agreement. Illinois has potential but the lead singer needs a Bas Rutten ass beating:



Topic Two: Menomena

Potsy: Menomena was awesome. I said it before, they played all songs I have been listening to, which made for a pleasingly familiar show, with a
good crowd. Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't we squeeze an extra song out them too? I think at the end of the show the overhead music came on, but the crowd remained, and Menomena came back out, saying something like, "you're supposed to leave when the music comes on." But he didn't say it in a dick-ish way.

Jumbo Slice: You're right about the extra song. I don't think they do the contrived encore thing. If not, they sold it well. I know we've discussed this before, but an encore should nawt [Tommy Wiseau voice] be a given.

Jimbromski: Menomena's music is complicated but still accessible. Lots of tempo changes, different instruments, weird sounds, and yet it all adds up and works. Other bands try this and it comes out sounding like a mess.

I get the feeling these guys took music classes and played all kinds of instruments from an early age. They were probably members of the marching band in high school. This is in contrast to guys who picked up a guitar in high school and then formed a band--usually a sloppy but rocking sound. I guess to my untrained ear Menomena sounds more technically proficient than the average band. I hate to say that b/c bands like that are usually pretentious/arty/crap but Menomena isn't like that.

This is a great band. I usually judge bands by how many melodies/specific songs I can remember after the show. These guys have at least four excellent songs on their album. Most bands are lucky to have 1-2.

Sacklunch: I agree pretty much with everything Jimbromski said. We discussed the whole “complicated yet accessible” thing outside after the show. I think we may have even compared them to a certain band called Radiohead. Not necessarily on the same level, but definitely interesting music that can be a little complex. Highlights of the evening were the 1-2 punch of “Rotten Hell” and “Evil Bee” (the last two songs they played, before the encore) Those are great closers.

Other things I noticed about Menomena. I like how the drummer is a very integral part of that band. He was entertaining to watch.

The bass player/saxophonist always looks a bit uncomfortable and somewhat pained when playing his instruments. He is not the epitome of smooth.

Topic Three: Media Circus

Jumbo Slice: I really enjoyed meeting Ian. It seemed like he was having a great time. The photographer was super nice but it was weird having her constantly snap pictures of us. I didn't mind when it was over. I'm not sure if she got any shots they'll really be able to use. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Sacklunch: The media circus was kind of annoying for me. I don’t like getting photographed. The candids were okay, but those f—king posed pictures on the stairs and outside were a bit ridiculous. I had no idea that was going to happen. We will have to wait and see what happens with the story.

Jimbromski: We'll see if the article actually sees the light of day. I enjoyed the experience, I felt like a big shot. I tolerated the pictures, but I don't like being posed. I am especially grateful that when she posed us on the stairs, that nobody came up/down the stairs and had to wait for us to finish. That would've been awkward.

Potsy: I'm not one to talk about the article since I'm in the "I'll believe it when I see it" mode. Yeah, it was a bit awkward. I don't like posed photos either. As if we often hang outside against the Black Cat's
brick wall in between sets, like album cover art.

Well, that's all the time we have for today. Next Review: Jorge James.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Concert Preview: 1990s, Art Brut, The Hold Steady

Three bands enter. One band leaves.

Tomorrow night we're in for solid triple bill as The Hold Steady headlines the "NME Rock N' Roll Riot Tour". When I first saw the tour name I thought Mötley Crüe and Quiet Riot were hitting the road again. What a crappy name for a tour. Almost as dumb as "Rock Club".

We're all know and love the 1990s (see our interview w/ them for more). BrightestYoungThings has a nice interview with drummer Michael McGauhrin. I missed their first DC show so I'm excited to see these guys. If their live set is half as good as their album, I'll be a happy lad (as the Scottish might say).

We've seen Art Brut put on two great, but very similar, shows at the Black Cat. I want to see them mix it up a little at the 9:30 Club.

Finally, The Hold Steady. I used to really like them, but now they just annoy me. I'm going in with an open mind though. Maybe they won't be so cheesy this time around.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Post Rock


The Washington Post has *finally* started their own music blog. They gave it the witty title PostRock and launched it last week. It's written by Mr. Malitz and his fellow music critic, J. "Give Me Freedom or Give Me the Potatoes" du Lac.

My favorite post thus far is a song by song analysis of Clarence Clemons during the recent Springsteen show at the Verizon Center. I love that this guy went on a solo tour and what's even better is that Sacklunch went to a show. When he does his Clemons imitation, it kills me every time.

Anyway, be sure to check out the blog. BTW, does anyone else use a RSS Reader? Very helpful if you scan a lot of blogs. Just sayin'...

Monday, November 12, 2007

Next Show?


Since we're having ticket difficulties for the Hold Steady/Art Brut/1990s show, I suggest we make the "official" RC show the Electric Six show at the Black Cat on Saturday, 11/17, if people can make that.

Here's two songs to listen to as you RC members mull it over.

Danger! High Voltage:

Gay Bar:

Don't Tase Me Bro!

This is my favorite Pitchfork headline of all-time:

Naked Man Tasered in the Ass at Girl Talk Show

Saturday, November 10, 2007

The Body, The Blood, The Runny Nose


Last Friday I came down with a killer cold. I rested up so I wouldn't miss what I knew would be a great show by The Thermals. Overcoming a common cold in order to Rock is a basic test that separates the men from the boys. Usually such tests prove me to be a little boy. A little, little boy. Such was the case on Saturday. So Rock Club called up a few minor leaguers, Stuttson and Michael B., to fill my spot. Considering my only contribution is making sure we stop for pizza after the show, they didn't have big shoes to fill.

I first got into The Thermals after listening to Fuckin A, their second release on Sub-Pop records. It’s 28 minutes of fury and fun. The latest album, The Body, the Blood, The Machine, is about a couple running away from an American government ruled by "fascist faux -Christians." Politically aware is probably a tame description for their lyrics.
Rock Club usually doesn't go for such bands. We don't need the lecture. We grew up on Fugazi (well, some of us) and we get the point. However, the lyrics aren’t preachy and the songs are simply great. [Side note: Brendan Canty, the drummer for Fugazi, produced the latest album so maybe the overt political themes aren’t too surprising]

The Thermals formula is simple: a few chords, a few minutes, and the song is over. They cram chaotic (yet catchy) pop melodies over distorted power chords. Genuis. When we saw them the first time, Eric Axelson commented to me, "all their songs sound the same". He's right, but in this rare case it's not a bad thing. The band plays old school punk rock at an unrelenting pace and I like it. It worked for the Ramones and it works for The Thermals. They’re like Vin Diesel: Fast and Furious. [Side Note: Wow, did I just write that? Had Potsy written that I’d have said it deserved a cockpunch] Here’s the beauty of seeing The Thermals live: if you don't dig that new song they're playing, wait a minute or two and they'll be playing something more to your liking.

Since I was on the “physically unable to participate” list for this show, I polled the rest of Rock Club for their take. Here goes:

The atmosphere at the first Thermals show was pretty energetic (as captured in the review title "Thermal Energy"). How would you describe the crowd? Did Potsy chat up any ladies?

Jimbromski: Crowd was into it. A fair amount of females. I don't remember seeing Potsy chat anyone up but then again there were times when he was not under my supervision.

Sacklunch: The crowd was into the show, although maybe not quite as much as the last time. There were a fair amount of dudes there, in fact, a small pseudo mosh pit started in the front right of the stage. I moved over to stage left and had great spot right in front of the bassist. It was pretty loud.

Posty: It was not a sausage fest down stairs. Lots of hot young chicks. I don't think I talked to any of them...but I was kinda drunk. Great crowd. Even some "dancing”.

Please complete this sentence: The show was better than ____________ but not as good as ___________.

Jimbromski: better than getting my scrotum chewed off by weasels but not as good as domesticating the pack of weasels and using them to do evil

Sacklunch: It was better than the 1st Spoon show but not as good as the 2nd Spoon show. [Yet Another Side Note: Sacklunch’s first response was not used out of respect for my mom and Potsy’s mom]

Posty: The show was better than Ezra but not as good as it gets.

Two Rock Club associates, Stuttson and Michael B., attended the show. What, if anything, did they bring to the table?

Jimbromski: Stuttson and I hung out at Potsy's before the show and we all cracked wise. Some funny things we talked about were a fictional commercial for Heavy-Flow Tampons featuring copious amounts of blood; the fact that Fox & Hounds Bar used to be the hang out for ugly alcoholic gay people who managed to survive the 1980s AIDS epidemic until we gentrified it, to the point where neither the ugly gay people nor ourselves can enjoy the bar anymore; zombie movies. Also Stuttson corroborated and added to the Van Halen details. Michael B, not so much beyond the small talk and jokes. We met Sacklunch and him at the bar and then went to the show.

Sacklunch: They both added nothing. Although Mike B. did drive me home. Stuttson had some good Van Helen stories.

Posty: Stuttson was actually hysterical pre-show at the clubhouse. Once we got to the Black Cat everyone went they're separate ways. I didn't see him until the show ended.

The show was:
A. Better than the first show
B. Not as good as last time
C. Basically the same
D. (Fill in the blank)


Jimbromski: (B) not as good as last time. Still a great show but as always the "new material" detracts, if only because I haven't heard it before and I only want to hear the hits.

Sacklunch: B (Not as good as last time). It was still very good, but I had fairly high expectations the 2nd time around. Also, I think they missed having the other guitarist.

Posty: D. Better than I remember them

Complete this sentence: The show could've been better, if only…

Jimbromski: I don't know...less new shit? They played a Built to Spill song as an encore that I thought sucked. Maybe a different cover, some Alan Parsons, perhaps.

Sacklunch: The show could’ve been better, if only…I hadn’t puked when I got home.

Posty: The show could've been better, if only...there
were strippers on stage.

Was the sound at the Black Cat as crappy as usual?

Jimbromski: No, but it was fucking deafening. I had my earplugs in the whole time and it was still making my head pound.

Sacklunch: Sound was okay. It was fairly loud.

Posty: It was LOUD! Thankfully my middle-aged-man senses were tingling before we left and I brought earplugs.

Did you enjoy some Jumbo Slice afterwards?

Jimbromski: Stuttson purchased a jumbo slice.

Sacklunch: I did not enjoy a Jumbo Slice afterward. Like I said, I went home and puked. I only had a few beers and 2 shots of Tequila. I think there was something else going on. I wasn’t even drunk. Jimbromski puked in his mouth and swallowed it.

Posty: WTF? I think you would know. And I'm just not that into you.

Any other comments you'd like to include?

Jimbromski: It was a very good show, all the songs from the last album sounded great. I don't mean to say that the new songs suck; it's just that I need to hear things a few times before I make a decision. I'd rank it just a hair below the first show.

Sacklunch: You are a pussy for not going.

Posty: I was happily drunk for this show. The bassist really carries a lot of weight for this band. She rocks.

And there you have it. Another solid showing by The Thermals. They rocked hard, and while it wasn't quite as good as last time, it was still deserving of 7.7 Rock Club Rating.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

The Defecation of a Disco Dancer

Morrissey
DAR Constitution Hall
Nov. 2, 2007


This was an unofficial Rock Club show but I thought I'd put something up anyway. My sister got Mrs. Jimbromski and I tickets to this show for my birthday, which was a nice gesture as she well knows how much of a Smiths fan I was back in high school. Even better, she and her girlfriend offered to babysit Jimbromski Jr. for the evening. The three of us arrived at their place on Friday evening, dropped off the little shaver, ate a big salad (more on that later) and set off for DAR.

I hadn't been to Constitution Hall since about 1996, I think, when I saw Parliament there. It's a swank joint. Ingress/egress is simple and hassle-free. They have bars set up in every corner of the building where you can get a beer/wine/mixed drink. Mrs. Jimbromksi classed it up and got a glass of red wine. The glass was plastic, but shaped like a wine glass. Nice.



Morrissey went on at about 9:00 pm. Everything Fake Accents Dave said in this review of his 2006 (edit--it was 2007, not 2006) show at Wolf Trap is still accurate. Mozzer's back-up band is tight and hard-rocking. At this point in his career Morrissey has become sort of a Vegas act--each gesture is calculated, the band members all wear identical clothes, everything seemed scripted. It didn't detract from the show, it just made it seem polished and professional, which I suppose befits a guy who's 48 years old. He took off his shirt and threw it into the crowd three separate times, and by the end of the show people were running onto the stage to hug him, like all the womens used to do to Elvis. I suppose it's no surprise as the iconography of the young Elvis showed up more than once in The Smiths catalog of music, album covers and videos (check the cover of a song Elvis made famous, "(Marie's the Name) His Latest Flame", on The Smiths' live album Rank, for example). This time it was women and men running on stage, but still, same principle.

The songs sounded great. He kicked off with "Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before", then followed it up with "Irish Blood, English Heart", "Interesting Drug", and then "Death of a Disco Dancer". The last sounded particularly sharp, and its message of violence combined with bystanders looking the other way is timeless. I guess this is Morrissey's version of the "Stop Snitching" campaign.


"Death of a Disco Dancer," The Smiths, Strangeways Here We Come (1987)


Other highlights from the show were "Billy Budd", "Stretch Out and Wait", and "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want." The only lowlight of the show was the salad my sister's girlfriend served me prior to our arrival. It was an excellent salad--hard-boiled eggs, chicken, fried onions, croutons, vinegar & oil dressing--but it didn't agree with me and 40 minutes into the show I was facing an intestinal crisis. This is the nightmare scenario, people--being out at the rock and having to push one out. I was saved by the classiness of DAR, and also the devoutness of the average Morrissey fan, as the bathroom was in fairly good shape, and most fans aren't ducking out in mid-set to drop a deuce, so I had the place to myself for about 30 seconds.

I end this review with a mini-quiz--if you're out at a show or other spectacle and gotta go, what's the best/worst option? My answer--best is probably a place like DAR or the Kennedy Center (obvious), but also, surprisingly, a sports event. My reasoning is that if the event is less than capacity--like most DC United games I go to--you can likely find an isolated bathroom in some remote part of the concourse, and go to work. This does not apply to, say, a Redskins game attended by 95,000 at FedEx Field. Worst is probably the Black Cat. As an addendum, I spoke to three people who attended the Van Halen show on 11/1 at the Verizon Center, and each said that the bathrooms were covered in piss and vomit. One--Potsy--also reported, however, that he found an isolated bathroom, and that two people were having sex in one of the stalls. This just goes to proves my point about sports arenas, if you substitute "taking a shit" for "having sex", which is generally true these days for me.

Concert Preview: Menomena w/ Ill-Annoying


This will be the third time most if us have seen Menomena. We consider this a very good thing, unlike our triple viewing of The Ponys. We first saw them at the R&R Hotel back in March and then caught their set at the Pitchfork Festival over the summer. The band has been hustle and flowing across the country and Europe ever since on what seems to be a never-ending tour.

The show tonight will be an interesting contrast of styles. Menomena are an experimental (and nerdy) three piece who bring the funk w/ a thick sax and plenty of sass. Each member plays multiple instruments and sings vocals. They have smart lyrics and a cool use of loops to create their unique sound. The layered vocals and wicked rhythm section make for an entertaining live show. In comparison, Illinois has a dooshbag for a lead singer. The choice is clear America. Vote Menomena.

Okay, to be fair to Illinois, they have a good EP but we found them extremely annoying the first time we saw them. Rock Club doesn't give out many mulligans. Don't blow this chance Illinois.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Van Hail 'Em



Van Halen - Verizon Center - 11/1/2007 $62

While not an officially sanctioned RC event, I ventured out to the Phone Booth last week to witness the much debated, long awaited reunion tour for the founding members of Van Halen - minus Michael Anthony (who is NOT married to J. Lo, as it turns out- my bad).

There is so much I could tell you about this show, it's almost overwhelming. I get lost in all the details of the night, so I will just hit some of the main points. Let's begin with the participants. So instead of the regulars, Jimbromski, Jumboslice, and sacklunch, I was joined by RC alternates, Stuttson and Duh-cut. It was actually Stuttson who masterminded this excursion. So kudos to him. But let's move on to our seats for the show.

You ever hear someone brag about being in the FRONT ROW Man! for some super show, but you know they're full of shit? Yeah, well we were in the last row of the phone booth for this one. Literally. So nice job, Stuttson. Glad you managed to score these red hot tix man. We were directly across the stage, so we were at least facing the right direction, but we were in row Q, which happens to be the last row in the joint. Which reminds me that there was some schlub at the show who must have purchased bogus tickets, because he came up the stairs looking for row Z. Beware people, there is no row Z at the top of the Verizon Center. It only goes to Q, trust me. But this was not all bad. Stuttson was good enough to play flight attendant (appropriate for our altitude, I thought) and treat us to tiny bottles of booze. It's easier to mix your cocktail when you're at the very top. I also didn't need to worry about being in anyone's way for those 3 or 4 songs where I was standing up. So what if I can't tell the difference between the mic stand and Eddie Van Halen (they're both rather thin, ya know)?

The crowd was a sight to behold. I forgot that I was in junior high school when Van Halen was big, which is why I never got to see them live before now. So there were some older folks there, which makes sense. Van Halen's got to be 200 years old, collectively. Their fan base hasn't changed much. It's only gotten older, fatter, and uglier. Yet they still dress the same. There were a few guys who looked a lot like that Dog the Bounty Hunter guy, and a few gals who looked like his lovely bride. Sort of. The crowd also consisted of a couple of younger fans who, like me, managed to find a relatively out of the way bathroom, but who took advantage of the handicap stall by having sex there, not like me. I was concerned at first that maybe the guy was taking advantage of the girl, and I almost took a picture over the wall to be sure everything was okay. But then I remembered that you go to jail for doing stuff like that. So I just eavesdropped a little until I heard her say something positive about the experience. Then I lingered around a little longer, in case I was needed. But I was missing Diamond Dave and the Van Halen Trio, so I went back to my seat.

It was great seeing this band. I can't believe that Sammy Hagar was ever allowed to carry the Van Halen name. Sure, they had a few hits with Hagar, but David Lee Roth is irreplaceable. His showmanship was on full display this 1st of November. Like a ringleader at the circus, Roth had a full supply of colorful top hats, and ran around the stage like a man merely in his mid 40s. VH began the show with "Everybody Wants Some," which always makes me think of Better Off Dead. I want my $2! Haha, what a great movie. "Do you know the street value of this mountain?" Ah, Booger... What? Oh, right... So then Van Halen continued to rock out, playing all the old school songs, and doing it at about 70% of their previous ability (or maybe that's how they rocked it back in the day, I wouldn't really know). Not to detract from the monumentalessness of the show, but Eddie Van Halen has lost a few steps; David Lee Roth can make it through the chorus of any song, but he stumbles with the rest; Alex reminds me of Fish from Barney Miller and doesn't need to offer a drum solo anymore; and I've got nothing really to say about Eddie's fat son other than what I just said. But I loved it. Just have a listen to the grand finale and you'll get a sense of it all. You'll see my crap vantage point of the stage. You'll hear them rock, you'll hear mediocrity mixed with great nostalgic rock, you'll barely see anything but you'll see some of Dave's theatrics. Check it out.



One more thing. On the way out, we walked through the rows of empty seats to bypass the gridlock in the outer ring of the arena. A few turns into our shortcut, we came across an older, fairly unattractive woman, still seated caring for an equally unattractive guy who was rather immobilized with a healthy does of vomit on his Chucks. Van Halen was so rockin, the guy puked. Well done.