The Drive-By Truckers
February 21, 2009
Sacklunch and I attended William & Mary and I swear to Allah that nothing annoyed me more about that school than the "Southern heritage" types you'd run into from time to time. They were invariably dudes and you'd always find them with a dogeared copy of Faulkner or Flannery O'Connor or some other impenetrable Southern Gothic writer. They didn't drink beer, they sipped bourbon. They had an ever-ready collection of folksy sayings that would just wear the fuck out of your patience. They referred to the Civil War as the "War of Northern Agression." The whole Southern gentleman pose was like a well-worn dinner jacket they could slip into whenever they felt like it. A jacket that said "I LOVE COCK" on the back.
Let it be said that I'm not some anti-South effete elitist. Here's a seven second clip of me firing my pistol down at the range:
Man, what a rush. I think these southern guys were for the most part putting on an act and it was an act they could get away with because a large number of students at good ole' W&M were from Northern Virginia, which more often than not meant that they moved to Virginia from somewhere north of Virginia and didn't know any better when someone from North Carolina pretended to be a character out of a Pat Conroy novel. Okay, whatever. Personally, I think most real southerners are too busy shoplifting ephedrine for their meth labs to worry about cultivating their image.
So when I heard Patterson Hood of the Drive-By Truckers say shit like, "they say news travels faster than a bullet, and I'm slower than a gun," it brought back memories (CORRECTION--commenter Anonymous has politely informed my that it was Mike Cooley, not Patterson Hood, who was out sick for the show. Thanks guy!). What does that mean, anyway? Just speak English. I hadn't heard much of the DBTs prior to this show but I think I read somewhere that they take inspiration from Lynyrd Skynyrd. Nope. (And by the way, if I were in a band, and someone in the audience yelled "Freebird!", I would totally call their bluff and play it, and people would dig it, because that's a good song. I heard it on 100.3 Big Oldies the other day and was jammin' to it in my car. Epic.)
Instead of some awesome Skynyrd-type songs about sluts and cars and fighting we got a lot meandering ditties from Hood (CORRECTION--Cooley, goddammit) that really didn't have a discernible hook, and then every third song bassist Shonna Tucker would slow things down even further with some Stevie Nicks-type warbling. Blah.
This must be yet another case of me not getting it, because the 9:30 was packed. The DBT is the type of band that attracts male fans who close their eyes and sing along to the songs. To quote the great Jerry Seinfeld--"I can't watch a man sing a song. It's embarrassing." There were lots of drunk women at the show as well, which was nice. Potsy saw one chick do a header on the stairs to the upstairs bar, and like Peter denying Christ he averted his eyes and pretended not to notice. Suave. Finally, all the guys there had neckbeards, like Chicago Bears quarterback Kyle Orton. I don't know how people do that, my neck is so sensitive. I can't wear turtlenecks because they irritate my skin so I can't imagine a thicket of scratchy hair on my neck.
After the show Sacklunch nearly got run over by a Smart Car, which led to much laughter. I can't think of a more embarrassing way to die. We ended up back at Potsy's apartment where we watched the first half of Terminator 1. Sack hadn't seen it before and we were trying to explain the plot to him, and Potsy and I were both like, yeah, that guy Reese came back in time to protect Linda Hamilton, and he ends up having sex with her, and she gets pregnant and gives birth to him in the future so he can save the humans, and he travels back in time...It took us a while to realize our mistake. Reese and John Connor are not the same person and he did not impregnate his own mom who later gave birth to himself. Time travel is a forgiving mistress but not that forgiving.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
The Drive-By Truckers