Long live rock, I need it every night

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Drive-By Suckered

The Drive-By Truckers
9:30 Club

February 21, 2009

Sacklunch and I attended William & Mary and I swear to Allah that nothing annoyed me more about that school than the "Southern heritage" types you'd run into from time to time. They were invariably dudes and you'd always find them with a dogeared copy of Faulkner or Flannery O'Connor or some other impenetrable Southern Gothic writer. They didn't drink beer, they sipped bourbon. They had an ever-ready collection of folksy sayings that would just wear the fuck out of your patience. They referred to the Civil War as the "War of Northern Agression." The whole Southern gentleman pose was like a well-worn dinner jacket they could slip into whenever they felt like it. A jacket that said "I LOVE COCK" on the back.

Let it be said that I'm not some anti-South effete elitist. Here's a seven second clip of me firing my pistol down at the range:

Man, what a rush. I think these southern guys were for the most part putting on an act and it was an act they could get away with because a large number of students at good ole' W&M were from Northern Virginia, which more often than not meant that they moved to Virginia from somewhere north of Virginia and didn't know any better when someone from North Carolina pretended to be a character out of a Pat Conroy novel. Okay, whatever. Personally, I think most real southerners are too busy shoplifting ephedrine for their meth labs to worry about cultivating their image.

So when I heard Patterson Hood of the Drive-By Truckers say shit like, "they say news travels faster than a bullet, and I'm slower than a gun," it brought back memories (CORRECTION--commenter Anonymous has politely informed my that it was Mike Cooley, not Patterson Hood, who was out sick for the show. Thanks guy!). What does that mean, anyway? Just speak English. I hadn't heard much of the DBTs prior to this show but I think I read somewhere that they take inspiration from Lynyrd Skynyrd. Nope. (And by the way, if I were in a band, and someone in the audience yelled "Freebird!", I would totally call their bluff and play it, and people would dig it, because that's a good song. I heard it on 100.3 Big Oldies the other day and was jammin' to it in my car. Epic.)

Instead of some awesome Skynyrd-type songs about sluts and cars and fighting we got a lot meandering ditties from Hood (CORRECTION--Cooley, goddammit) that really didn't have a discernible hook, and then every third song bassist Shonna Tucker would slow things down even further with some Stevie Nicks-type warbling. Blah.

This must be yet another case of me not getting it, because the 9:30 was packed. The DBT is the type of band that attracts male fans who close their eyes and sing along to the songs. To quote the great Jerry Seinfeld--"I can't watch a man sing a song. It's embarrassing." There were lots of drunk women at the show as well, which was nice. Potsy saw one chick do a header on the stairs to the upstairs bar, and like Peter denying Christ he averted his eyes and pretended not to notice. Suave. Finally, all the guys there had neckbeards, like Chicago Bears quarterback Kyle Orton. I don't know how people do that, my neck is so sensitive. I can't wear turtlenecks because they irritate my skin so I can't imagine a thicket of scratchy hair on my neck.

After the show Sacklunch nearly got run over by a Smart Car, which led to much laughter. I can't think of a more embarrassing way to die. We ended up back at Potsy's apartment where we watched the first half of Terminator 1. Sack hadn't seen it before and we were trying to explain the plot to him, and Potsy and I were both like, yeah, that guy Reese came back in time to protect Linda Hamilton, and he ends up having sex with her, and she gets pregnant and gives birth to him in the future so he can save the humans, and he travels back in time...It took us a while to realize our mistake. Reese and John Connor are not the same person and he did not impregnate his own mom who later gave birth to himself. Time travel is a forgiving mistress but not that forgiving.

Not Edward Furlong


Anonymous said...

It's good to see that you've held yourself together since college, Jimbromski.

Jimbromski said...

it's holiday weight

Anonymous said...

And you call yourself a music writer? That wasn't Patterson Hood you dumbass, it was Mike Cooley. Hood was out sick (both nights). Didn't you read the sign on the door of the club? Get your facts straight before you write, jerk.
The Drive By Truckers kick fucking ass and the south shall rise again.

Fuck you Yankee.

Potsy said...

it's true. Jimbromski oft introduces himself as a music writer. When I call him, he says, "Hello this is [Jimbromski], Music Writer." I can hear the upper case in his voice.

But that was a whole other problem with the show. The other dude was out sick. I am the second to claim ignorance about DBT, which is why I went to see what they were about. But when the bassist yammers on about how "something's missing," and how it just doesn't feel right without [sick dude], that says it all. It says to me, "show's cancelled folks, here's your money back."

I wonder, did the Beatles ever play a show where John and/or Paul didn't perform? This is not a sitcom where one character can be absent for a couple of episodes while the actor responsible for the part checks into rehab or gives birth.

Cancel your show if one of your main dudes is sick. Lame money grab.

Jimbromski said...

First I get Reese and John Connor mixed up, then Hood and Cooley. Not a good night for me.

Jimbromski said...

I wonder if this blackballing of DBT will rouse the Rockists from their slumber, I think they're fans.

Wait, just looked, G.H. was there.

Anonymous said...


Again, get your facts straight. The Truckers were offering a refund for both shows because Hood was out sick. There was sign on the door and a notice on their website about this. No money grab at all.

But, because the Truckers kick so much fucking ass, they decided to play anyway and put on one hell of a show. The Truckers, even without Hood, are better than 99% of the bands out there.

I came across your lame website while I was doing a search for a review of the Truckers show at the 930 Club. What a piece of shit. Faggot music for a bunch of fucking faggots.

sacklunch said...

This kind of reminds of the whole MMJ thing. Way to stir things up Jimbromski.

Potsy said...


Nothing I said was factually incorrect. I think DBT should have cancelled and rescheduled. It's that simple. If you enjoyed their show one-man-down, good for you. I did not.

Your last comment is unintelligible.

Jimbromski said...

see, neckbeards make people irritable

Jumbo Slice said...

Needless to say, Larry the Cable Guy (aka Anonymous) gets the award for Comment of the Month. "the south shall rise again" and "Fuck you Yankee" = Classic. Well done.

I read about Hood's sickness on Baby You've Got A Stew Goin'. Steve opted for a refund both nights.

Potsy said...

I had heard about the refund policy for the Fri night show. But I didn't see any signs about it on my way to the show Sat. Don't know if Jimbromski or sacklunch did. Maybe it was on a post-it note on the ticket window (which I didn't visit having already purchased my tickets). Either way, refund or no refund, cancel the show.

sacklunch said...

I saw the sign when we went in. To be honest, there were actually quite few of them posted all over the doors. I think they did a good job of relaying that info to the ticketholders. I mean, the dude was sick. Maybe earlier in the day he thought he might be able to play. What are you going to do?

I just didn't care for the music (and crowd), and I don't think Patterson Hood playing would have made one bit of difference in that regard.

Jimbromski said...

This is actually a common thing I've found. I've listened to this band before and liked what I heard (mostly the Dirty South in 2004 when I was listening to KEXP all the time), which is why I picked this show, but listening to something while I'm working or sitting around reading Us Magazine is different from seeing a band live. I just thought they were a little uninspired.

Jimbromski said...

Sack, you didn't like the crowd? I thought they were fine. Not nearly as annoying as the Hold Steady crowd, for example. Seemed like a bunch of harmless UVA hackysack types and older dudes like yours truly. Plus the drunk women. Not bad.

sacklunch said...

Yeah, I guess it wasn't that bad. The dudes standing near to me seemed like okay folk. I just don't like being surrounded by really drunk people. I saw like 3 people get escorted out because they were incredibly wasted. i guess I am just getting old. Sloppy drunks annoy the shit out of me. This is the number 2 reason why I would never go to a Jimmy Buffett concert. The number 1 reason is pretty self-explanatory.

Potsy said...

club carp?

Anonymous said...

I'd totally play Freebird too if I were in a band. Too many people brush it off. But give the people what they want, you know?

Jimbromski said...

yeah, Freebird's good.

Other Skynyrd hits heard on Big Oldies and 94.7 lately include Gimme Three Steps and Don't Ask Me No Questions

LS have always been underrated, but I like them more than the Allmans. I don't have 20 minutes to listen to you jam, Duane.

Anonymous said...

Duane is dead--get your fact's straight, asshole!

Fuckin fuckball yankee!

I do agree, though, that DBT is "Faggot music for a bunch of fucking faggots" as anonymous said.

PS--that above apostrophe is ironic because I am a smug, elitist grammar asshole.