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Saturday, May 17, 2008

One more excerpt from "The Dirt"

Whenever there are slow moments with this blog, I can always turn to my trusty, dogeared copy of The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band, and find something post-worthy.

Stutts's excellent review of the Van Halen show in Atlantic City got me thinking about the Van Halen banter video from the 1983 US Festival. That in turn made my synapses fire and recollect that a few weeks ago, during a random YouTubin' session at my friend Mark's place, we came across a clip of Motley Crue doing "Livewire" at the same festival.

"YouTubin' session"--yes, I know.

"Livewire" is one of my favorite Crue songs but this live version is absolutely awful. Enjoy:



In The Dirt, Vince Neil talks about the US Festival. To quote Jeff Lebowski, these guys treat objects like women:

It was the day that new wave died and rock and roll took over: May 29, 1983. Day two of the three-day US Festival.

Circling above hundreds of thousands of kids in a helicopter [ed. note--it must be difficult to fit that many kids into one helicopter] it seemed as if the scene on Sunset Strip on Friday and Saturday nights had suddenly been transported to a field in the middle of nowhere on a sweltering hot spring afternoon. Ozzy Osbourne, Judas Priest, the Scorpions, and Van Halen were performing in front of three hundred thousand kids. And so were we.

Later on:

Mick left the stage first and walked back to the trailer that doubled as our dressing room. Waiting for him inside was girlfriend, who we called The Thing, a big mean brunette whose sleeves were rolled above her elbows. As soon as he walked in the door, after having played the biggest concert of his life, she hauled off and punched him square in the face without a word of explanation.


And still later:

Afterward for me was a blur of alcohol, drugs, interviews, and chicks. I remember walking offstage and seeing Tom Zutaut's [ed. note: Motley Crue's dweeby manager] girlfriend, who had stripped down to a leopard-skinned bikini because it was so hot outside. I grabbed her, pressed my sweaty face against hers, and stuck my tongue down her throat. I brought her back to the trailer--past Mick, who was sitting on the steps holding his head in his hands--and buried my face in the girl's tits. Just then, there was a knock on the door and a squeaky voice said, 'Hey, it's Tom. Can I come in?'

'What do you want?' I asked, worried that he had seen me.

'I just wanted to tell you that you were a-a-amazing. That was the best show I've ever seen you play.'

'Thanks, dude,' I said. 'Listen, I'll be out in a minute. I just need a little while to chill out.'

Then I tore off hiss girlfriend's bikini and fucked the shit out of her while he waited outside.

Nikki turned red when I told him what I had done. 'You fucking asshole!' he screamed. 'Can't you keep your dick to yourself? That dude signed us. If he finds out, he's going to hold it against us and seriously fuck up our new album.'

'Sorry,' I replied. 'But that's only if he finds out.'


Oooh, burn. If you don't already have this book, get it now. It's possibly the greatest book ever written. Seriously, it's only $10.85, you have no excuse and I'm sick of telling you this.

4 comments:

sacklunch said...

Vince Neil looks like a tranny.

Indeed, that is a terrible version of "Livewire", which is also one of my favorite songs by the Crue.

Jimbromski said...

He looks like he plunged his face into a giant pile of coke

Super Zoe said...

Those guys are so gross. Really. I mean, they're not attractive, or polite. And they don't seem to make very wise relationship choices.

I'd forgotten about the Cru, actually. Thanks for resurrecting my revulsion/anthropological interest in them!

Anonymous said...

If you guys have not heard of Delta Spirit yet, they are coming to DC9 on Jun 29. I saw them with Cold War Kids about 1.5 years ago and LOVED them. Just some thoughts from one music lover to others ;)