Long live rock, I need it every night

Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Ghost of Tom Jones

Tom Jones - Weds. February 25, 2009 @ 9:30 Club - $55

Eleven days too late for a saucy Valentine's night out, Sir Tom Jones brought his love to the stage and offered it to a large and exuberant DC crowd. I was surprised that this show didn't sell out. Especially after talking with a rather mature Brit named Alice after the show.

Asking Alice if she had seen Tom Jones in concert before, she slurred, "millions of times." Alice then proceeded to recap the highlights of the show, which, according to her, included lots of hip thrusts and crotch waves. According to the riled up Alice, back in Britain, Sir Jones would fill the Albert Hall. I assume this wasn't some sort of euphemism, as she went on to revel in the fact that she just experienced something so "intimate."

It's not everyday that I throw down $55 to see anything. But I've been on a recent see-em-before-they-die kick. Tom Jones will turn 69 in June of this year, but if Wednesday night's show is any indication, not only is he far from kicking the bucket, I'll bet he uses his age as a dirty prop on stage. I'm not being subtle here.

Here's what I knew about Tom Jones before Wednesday:

  • He's from Wales.
  • Women throw panties* at him while he works.
  • He took Elvira (Mistress of the Dark)'s virginity - sending her to the hospital. More here on that.
  • That's about it.

Spot light too bright. You can't tell here, but the man looked good.

What I learned about Tom Jones Wednesday night:
  • He's like Chef from South Park. The old man has more game today, at 68 years old, than any one else you can throw out there. He's an inspiration to White men everywhere (or should be).
  • He's an entertainer, and a good one. Seemingly unencumbered by sentimentality or introspection about his own songs, or those of others, he gets out there, pumps up the crowd, and belts it out. He belongs in Vegas (and I mean that as a compliment).
  • Big Pharma should get their mits on this man. You know that genre of commercials where they show baby-boomers riding jet-skis, driving race cars, and such - all thanks to their new prescription for rejuvitol. Fuck that shit. Get Tom Jones out there. He doesn't need that product, but he embodies what it's all about.
  • Women still throw their panties at this cat. *Problem is, the 58 year old lady in front of me and others like her, swinging their panties 'round by their fingers, don't make for a sexy bunch. And I can only imagine where those panties came from.
  • Worth the $55. See him if you haven't already seen him millions of times.


Jumbo Slice said...

First, I love the headline. You are the master of the pun titles. Sorry, Jimbromski.

Next, I'm impressed you shelled out the big bucks for Tom Jones. You may regret that when we're all standing in soup lines a year from now.

I'm not surprised he puts on a good show. He really is an entertainer. He's like Barry Manilow. Except with better songs and a huge cock.

Jumbo Slice said...

Wait, is he really "Sir" Tom Jones? I hate when people refer to Elton John as Sir Elton. Fuck that British shit.

If he was knighted, I bet the Queen slipped him a pair of her knickers.

Potsy said...

Knighted by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II at Buckingham Palace, London on 29 March, 2006.

More interesting stat, Tom Jones has been married to his wife Linda, since he was 16.