Long live rock, I need it every night

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Insert Witty U2 Pun Here

National Museum of Natural History

February 9, 2008

Two weeks ago was Movie Night for Rock Club. Our first choice was Hounddog, which features a Dakota Fanning rape scene. We all love Dakota Fanning and felt that watching her get raped would be pretty illuminating and we could sit around and discuss it afterwards, over scones and tea.

Unfortunately, and inexplicably, Hounddog was unable to find an American distributor, so we went to see U23D instead. I had no idea there was an IMAX theater in the Museum of Natural History. But there is, and I can prove it because I went there and can describe it from memory.

Okay, some thoughts on U23D:

The technology: BAM! WOW! There’s U2, right the fuck in front of me! Hi, Bono! Hi, The Edge! Wow, Bono’s getting close...oh my, that’s sharp...okay, that’s a little too close, Bono...dude, I can smell your breath, you really should floss before the show.

3D is awesome and it really looks like the band is popping out of the screen. Watch this clip for a taste of the technology:

Roid Head Loves Himself - Watch more free videos

The band: They’re still the biggest band in the world. They looked fine, although Bono was a little pudgy. Larry Mullen Jr., the youngest and best looking member of the band, is starting to resemble Ray Winstone from Sexy Beast:

Bono is his usual self, with the preening and posing and posturing. By the end of the movie, you expect him to ascend bodily into heaven, carried by a host of angels. Fare thee well, Bono, your work among the living is complete. From now on I will not be racist and will not harbor Dakota Fanning rape fantasies.

The music: U2 is the coelacanth that spawned the Radiohead/Coldplay branch of the rock evolutionary tree. Like the Beatles, most of U2’s songs are about love and are unobjectionable. I’m not a U2 fan, but I like them the same way I like bands like Creedence Clearwater Revival, Tom Petty and Bruce Springsteen. U23D gave me a chance to reevaluate the songs anew. Some highlights were “Where the Streets Have No Name,” which I’ve never cared for but sounded great, and the movie opener “Vertigo”. “One” was also fantastic, and made me wish there were more selections from U2’s 1992 tribute to National Socialism, Achtung Baby.

The crowd: The 3D effect looked best when used for audience shots. I wished there had been more—perhaps they could have ventured outside the stadium(s) a bit for some local color? I spent much of the movie scanning the crowd for Latina hotties and hoping for a quick tittie shot.

Gratuitous cleavage picture

Overall: U23D wins top marks. As I mentioned, I am a lukewarm fan of the band but I enjoyed hearing all their hits and having Bono come so close that I thought he would try and goose me. Definitely worth a trip downtown.


sacklunch said...

Where did you find the video of the roid-head? Funny shit. Although, I will point out that you have 2 pictures/videos of shirtless dudes in your post. Yet this was balanced out by mentioning the Dakota Fanning rape fantasy. I am glad you have found balance in your life....

Jimbromski said...

I think the roid head video was on Deadspin. I felt that video best captured the 3D effect of the movie.

To all members of the law enforcement community, the D Fanning rape stuff is satire. Don't blame me, blame Hounddog.

Anonymous said...

This time you have finally gone TOO FAR, Mr. Jimbromski. As a parent, as a devout churchgoer, as a fan of the “Rock ‘n’ Roll”, I have enjoyed your weblog along with countless dozens. But now you have crossed a line. You have offended me in such a deep and profound way that I can barely express my disgust. Sir, Bono is not pudgy, he is big-boned.

Jimbromski said...

I humbly apologize and retract my Bono/pudgy comment. He has beautiful lats, traps, biceps and pecs.

Also, strike "countless dozens" and replace with "dozen(s)".

I'm really surprised I haven't been contacted by Dakota Fanning's attorneys.

Anonymous said...

We need to speak with you.

And--are you in for the Pogues? I never heard back.

Jimbromski said...

hey man, I just e-mailed you

Anonymous said...

Odd. I was out looking to see if there was ANYONE else out there who can't stand to listen to The Hold Steady (bought the "Boys and Girls" album on a whim trying not to be so set in my repetitive ways and let it play through once and said "you're sure getting sold back"), and I found some praise for one of my favorite experiences of this year. I'm glad it was fun for a casual listener too.

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