Long live rock, I need it every night

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Notes From The Overground

Hello, everyone. I was on vacation last week, so you may have noticed that this site contained 42% less bile, misogyny and general douchebaggery than usual. A few things took place while I was gone that I wanted to touch on:

--Blogger Fired For Blogging: I don't know if any of you jerk-offs ever bother to click any of the links in the "Sites We Like" section to the right, but there was some drama regarding the NFL-related blog Kissing Suzy Kolber last week. KSK is a lot like our site, except better-written, funnier, widely read, and about interesting topics, i.e., large men beating the piss out of each other. Like us, the staff blogs under assumed names. Anyway, a few of these guys are local. One of them, who calls himself Christmas Ape, was (note the verb tense) working as a reporter for the Washington Post Metro section. When he wasn't writing dick jokes for Kissing Suzy Kolber, he was producing the sort of stories ("Local Elementary School Play Enjoyed By All") that make the Metro section a must-read. Anyway, long story short, he decided to come out of the closet as it were, and reveal his secret identity. And would you fucking believe it, the Post actually fired him for--wait for it--bringing discredit upon the paper by "choosing to drink at bars in [his] free time." That's like firing Edward R. Murrow for smoking. All because of this photo and accompanying post:

Well, the photo, plus the aforementioned thousands of dick jokes and profanities and such. But allow me to channel my inner Chris Rock: can you believe that shit? Trust me, the stuff Christmas Ape wrote at KSK was billions of times more entertaining than any of the drivel written at the Post. And, as noted here, the Post basically fired a writer for writing. Also, reporters are fucking supposed to be soused, all the time.

Anyway, all's well the ends well, because according to Ape, KSK has gotten big enough that he can make the money from doing his blog as he did at the Post. Good for him. A big middle digit to the Post for being stiffdicks and to our brother -in-arms Christmas Ape, solidarity. Here's more from Deadspin.com on the topic.

--Happy Earth Day: Last week Mrs. Jimbromski and I dumped Junior at his grandparents' and went to Miami for the week. There were six bikini models staying at our hotel and they were doing shoots in the pool. When they weren't working, they were sunbathing topless on the beach. I couldn't walk 10 feet without a breast nearly hitting me in the face. I tried to hang around the photo shoots and look smoldering because I was hoping someone would say, hey, you've got a really unique look, ever considered modeling? No? Well, here's $10,000, put on this Speedo and make out with this girl. And my wife wouldn't be able to say boo because it would be my job. But no dice. Anyway, there was a realtor's office down the street from our hotel and they had their listings taped to their window. I think the real estate crunch has hit Miami hard because they had a studio in one the buildings right on the beach listed for $185,000 (it said "Motivated Seller", which means "Idiot Flipper Who Overextended Himself and Now is Shitting Himself"). I was discussing this with my pal Stutts and both he and his wife said that $185,000 isn't a good deal because "Miami will be under water in 50 years." My thoughts are, (1) no fucking way, and (2) even if true, America would find a way to save Miami, maybe at the expense of dumps like Ocean City, because a large proportion of the country's soft-core pornography and bikini modeling takes place there. It's too important to the economy to let it sink.

--Watch This Space: We're working an interview with up-and-coming band Rosewood Thieves that should be up soon. They're playing DC9 on April 28 in support of their new album, Rise & Shine. We're trying to do more real journalism type shit instead of aimless musings like this post.

1 comment:

Jumbo Slice said...

Wow, I had no idea about the KSK guy. That's complete horseshit.

Looking forward to the post on the Rosewood Thieves.