Long live rock, I need it every night

Thursday, April 03, 2008

The First Rule of Rock Is, There Are No Rules

The second rule of rock is that there are no rules, except for the 10 new rules below. As I mentioned here, Jumbo Slice moved to Texas last week so we're now three members plus one in exile. Seeing as how we've been doing this for over a year now we thought it would be a good point to reevaluate where we're at and where we're going.

Speaking of Jumbo Slice and his last show (Blitzen Trapper), we saw that blind dude again. His name is Ahmed and he lives in Germantown. He takes the Metro Shuttle Van to shows. Nice. I'm thinking of pretending to be disabled so I can ride the shuttle as well. My other idea was to figure out how to hook up a seeing eye dog's brain to Google Maps so the blind guy could just give an address to the German Shepherd, and bam, the dog leads you there. If we could reach the point where we could synch up a dog brain to an online database, we could probably also train the dog to drive as well, and have him wait outside the venue while the blind guy rocked out inside. I predict this will happen soon.

Okay, here are the new Rules of Rock. These have been generally accepted by all RC members. If you're thinking of starting your own rock club, feel free to use these.

  1. We are required to attend at least one show every two weeks. This will constitute the official' RC show for that period.
  2. Official shows require 2 out of 3 members attending to be considered “official.”
  3. Official shows will be selected by the RC member responsible for the applicable bi-weekly period.
  4. Official shows will be reviewed on the blog by the RC member responsible for the bi-weekly period.
  5. Reviews will be posted to the blog as soon as possible and no later than one week after the show took place.
  6. The RC member responsible for picking the official show shall poll the other members as to their preference and availability, but will have the final say in picking the show. Shows that cost more than $25 will require a special vote.
  7. Any/all RC members can attend non-official shows in the bi-weekly period, above and beyond the official show during the same period.
  8. Reviews of non-official shows are not required but are encouraged.
  9. RC members may trade time slots amongst themselves if necessary.
  10. Jumbo Slice is a perpetual RC Member Emeritus although he fucked off to Texas and as such retains posting rights on the blog. After he settles in he will be expected to do the following:
  1. Attend a show every two weeks
  2. Post a review of the show
  3. Promulgate and disseminate the RC concept to Austinites
  4. Form an Austin Rock Club, which will swear eternal loyalty to us and will obey us just like Catholics obey the Pope in Rome
  5. Maintain and update the aesthetics of our blog because none of us really know how to do that
  6. Continue being a jock-sniffer in the music world and answering e-mails and initiating contacts with dead-end indie bands that may some day bear fruit for us in the form of free shit and exposure


Potsy said...

Ahem, these rules have not undergone official ratification. I suggest the absence of a quorum. Clerk will call the roll...

Potsy said...

great bespectacled K-9 pic, though. excellent find.

Jumbo Slice said...

"These have been generally accepted by all RC members." Key Word: generally. I'm not committing to a review every two weeks while you guys do one every six. I'll make the effort but there's no promise. I don't was my cabaret pictures posted online if I don't have two reviews up a month.

Jumbo Slice said...

Ahmed is a bad ass. That guy goes to a ton of shows and really knows his shit. He's also a tech guy so he seems the perfect replacement for me. The only question is can he sniff a jock like I can? Doubtful. Very doubtful.

John Foster said...

Having had my jock sniffed by jumbo I heartily endorse the ratification of item 10 subsection 6.

Let the record show that he moved to a city where there are 5 amazing shows a night so his work just got pretty damn easy (except for that messy diapers thing...)- Hey Jealousy

Jimbromski said...

'zackly Foster, we expect more out of Jumbo now.

Jumbo, whenever you think the workload is too much, think of Ahmed and get back to it. You fucking baby.