DC ROCK CLUB
Long live rock, I need it every night

Monday, December 03, 2007

You know, the Nazis had merch that they made the Jews sell.

Rock Club attended the These United States/Jukebox The Ghost/Ra Ra Riot show at the Rock and Roll Hotel on November 30. Jumbo Slice is doubtless laboring hard into the cold, black night on this review but I wanted to add some quick thoughts on this show.

1--Use of the term "merch": is it really that difficult to say the whole word? Really, it's only three fucking syllables. Don't be so lazy. Band members say it, bloggers use it, civilians drop it into conversation. Please stop, it just makes you sound like a dickhead. I won't name names, but you know who you are out there.

2--While we're at it, please discontinue forthwith using the following terms:

  • Funky: funky either pertains to a type of music (examples: Parliament, Sly and the Family Stone), or the smell that Sacklunch emits after a large, satisfying meal. A neighborhood with a bunch of gay-assed shoe boutiques and t-shirt shops is not funky.
  • Amazing: everything is "amazing" these days. "You have to meet my friend Kenny, he's an amazing tax accountant." "Oh my god, this buttered white toast is amazing." As a society, has our threshold of amazement really dropped this low? Kreskin is amazing. Flip Orley the Comic Hypnotist amazes me. I am amazed when someone does something like, abracadabra, and pulls a Golden Retriever puppy out of their ass. How did they do it? Is there a trap door in their colon? Did they do some IVF thing and grow the puppy in their pooper? Your photocollage of Fallout Boy, that's not amazing.
  • Rock: just like "funk." "Rock" refers to AC/DC and such. One does not "rock a pair of jeans shorts." When used as a verb, one can only "rock" an arena. Or, like Bon Jovi, you can see a million faces, and you can rock them all. In the name of Seth Cohen, get it straight.
I know this makes me a big curmudgeon but the English language is ever-growing, and ever-evolving. It absorbs words from numerous other languages and has a vibrant colloquial vocabulary. We're not like those douchbags in Quebec and France, passing laws to protect it, because it doesn't need protection. So why the fuck do I always read self-proclaimed "creative" people always using the same cliches? It gives me gas pains to read some of the shit out there.

You kids, with your skateboards, and marijuana cigarettes...

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love your blog! It's my jam!

Super Zoe said...

This post has such a funky quality - it's amazing! You totally rocked it!

Please allow allegedly creative people the freedom to use cliched speech and lame adjectives. It makes me feel lingustically superior. Please do not rob my of my small, quiet joys.

Super Zoe said...

Oh, and I totally agree with you about "merch." Especially if the person at the mike has been overserved and it sounds like "much" or "merde." How about "stuff" or "crap" since it is only one syllable and often equally descriptive?

Jimbromski said...

I'm in favor of freedom of speech but I also demand the right to be a dick and make fun of what everyone says.

Instead of "merch" I think I'd go with "gear" or "product". To be honest there's nothing intrinsically wrong with any of the words, it's just that you hear them so much that past a certain point what was once clever is now grating. Altho I think I was against "funky" from the get-go.

Jimbromski said...

Also, "our new CD 'drops' on [date]", that's pretty played out as well. "Played out" is also played out at this point, too.

Jumbo Slice said...

"Our CD drops" is horrible. When a band says that I want to run onstage and kick them in the groin (an "underestimated move").

I also dislike when people refer to Atlanta as "Hot-lanta". The Dirty South is even old. Just call it Atlanta already.

Finally, as I recently informed my good friend Ken, "jumped the shark" is now cliche (IMHO).

That is all...

Jimbromski said...

The ATL, man.

Jumped the shark has jumped the shark.

You know what the youth of today are doing that I like? Adding the "-zo" suffix to everything. I'm done-zo. The show was fun-zo. And so on and so forth. Probably played out but I still enjoy it.

Potsy said...

Is this what we've reduced ourselves to? An ongoing rant about irritating phraseology? Oh, I didn't realize this was the Andy-Rooneys-in-training (ARIT) forum. Let me guess, next you'll be complaining about Head-On commercials. "Who were the ad geniuses that came up...with this campaign?"

Super Zoe said...

Don't be such a Potsy.

And seriously, that Head-On commercial is crap. That is a justified complaint.

jcr said...

That is not at all curmudgeonly, Jimbromski. The dumbing down of America continues with the increased use of emails and text messaging, and the concomitant use of silly abbreviations. Of course, "dumbing down" is pretty played out.

Irregardless, it's basically a mute point. Right, SZ?

Super Zoe said...

I wish it was a mute point. Then I couldn't hear it anymore.

Jimbromski said...

My mother in law says "mute point." In a way it makes sense--it's not important, so let's mute it. Mute point.

jcr said...

Or as Joey from FRIENDS once said, it's a moo point. It's like a cow's opinion: it just doesn't matter. It's moo.

KCG said...

You jerks are hogging the time of my best blog commenter - Super Zoe! If she has so much time to be commenting, she should be doing it on my blog! This sucks. I never should have endorsed Rock Club on NTYAMB.com.

Anonymous said...

That is so ironic! I was going to say the same thing!

Super Zoe said...

I commented twice on your "in your face, you don't even have cable blog." Geez.

I have told you have be more controversial. And you know I love you. I can't help it if the DC Rock Club has an allure not unlike Bender's appeal for Claire in THE BREAKFAST CLUB.

Jimbromski said...

Nice, we're Bender.

Someone other than me should make a hot beef injection joke here.

Ricky M said...

Allow me...

So, kcg. Are you and super zoe like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection?

Spoiled little pricks.


Thank you.

Jimbromski said...

Nice, well done.

We would've also accepted the sushi/tongue-in-mouth routine as well.

Two months, Bender.

KCG said...

Um. Yah. I was born in 1986, so I'm kinda missing your riffing-to-the-oldies references here. When you guys can be relevant to those of us who are young, beautiful, and cool, let me know. I don't have time to peruse the John Hughes classics archives to be able to understand what the hell you are talking about.

KCG said...

... ok, who am I kidding. I was born in '71 and I actually OWN Sixteen Candles. You guys are freaking hilarious. And no, Zoe and I are not an item ala Molly Ringwald and Jake Ryan. She just got engaged to Mr. Zoe, who is most famous for becoming deliriously drunk at a bar in Houston and spilling a whole Shiner on me.

But um, we were talking about rock or something like that, were we not?

Jimbromski said...

Turner Classic Movies is showing the colorized version of the Breakfast Club tonight at 8 pm, make sure to Tivo it.

principal vernon said...

I hate when they ruin classic old movies like that. I want to enjoy movies as the artist created it.

The thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night--that when I get older, these kids are going to take care of me.


What's a Tivo?

jcr (a/k/a "Mr. Zoe") said...

I wouldn't say that my little episode at Zimm's is what I'm "most famous" for, but I certainly understand that it made for a lasting impression. Not my best moment. Fortunately SZ can see both the forest AND the trees, and realizes that one lapse in judgment and decorum does not a person make.

My sister hung out with Dick Vernon on a cruise one time. Then he died.

KCG said...

Au contrare, Mr. Zoe! It IS one of your best moments. Before we knew you, we were puzzled, but now that we know and love you, it's a funny memory that will be recounted over and over and over and over. And over. So long as you both shall live.

I really hope jimbromski is kidding about Breakfast Club being on Turner Classics. I saw a "slacker" (the movie) t-shirt that I had in college being sold as a "vintage tee". I almost started to cry. I'm not ready to be vintage.

This is almost like group meetings. We should all take turns and clap for one another after each post, and use the word "affirm" a lot.

I'm off to get a skateboard.

abe froman said...

I can "affirm" the fact that you are old.

Jimbromski said...

Speaking of Froman, Ed Rooney got sent up for kiddie pr0n:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Jones

There's some sort of John Hughes movie adult authority figure curse in the making here.

Jimbromski said...

Just to clarify about the curse, I was referring to Principal Vernon as well. As JCR noted, Vernon died too, of mesothelioma.

jcr (a/k/a Mr. Zoe) said...

Mesothelioma is not pretty.

Anonymous said...

Mesothelioma rocks!

jcr said...

Yes, mesothelioma rocks....if you're a plaintiffs' attorney.