DC ROCK CLUB
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Friday, January 25, 2008

DCRC Policy on Emoticon and Text-Speak Usage


Verboten!

Jumbo Slice used "IMHO" in his last post and consequently has been fined $5. Jumbo, you can avoid the fine in exchange for five belt lashes to the buttocks. Bare-assed. Plus you have to wear a gimp suit and ball gag. Your choice.

OMG, WTF, ROFL and the like are all banned. Also various emoticons such as :) and :-(. These sorts of things are prohibited.

Lloyd the Commenter accused us of being hacks and practicing "faggotry" (actually a nice turn of phrase there, I wish I'd thought of it), predicting that our review of Holy Fuck would read as follows: "Holy Fuck is right. OMG LOL!!1!1111!!one!!"

Lloyd, I want to assure you there will be no usage of OMG LOL 1 11 111 one here. There is only one exception to the above rule, and it's for the following emoticon:

))--((

That's the emoticon for "ass-2-ass", and is a visual representation of Lloyd and his mom, cornholes connected by a 14-inch purple dildo. It's a complex maneuver and is thus is worthy of its own special emoticon.

6 comments:

Super Zoe said...

What's IMHO?! I thought it meant "I'm a ho." That isn't very positive self-talk and I am glad D Crock Club is taking a stand!

I don't like most abbreviations and things, nor do I like these so-called, "emoticons." It's like swearing; use real words.

I always learn something new here. So educational!

Jimbromski said...

I recommend using ))--(( in work e-mails, as a synonym for "psshhht, yeah, like that's gonna work."

Example:

"Dave wants to push the TPS Report tracking responsibilities to our division ))--(("

Jumbo Slice said...

I choose the lashings. I'll bring my gimp suit.

Jimbromski said...

See, I was secretly hoping you'd say that.

curliefro said...

is this a reference to the movie "me and you and everyone we know"?

Potsy said...

I had to look up this movie. I've never heard of it, nor will I ever see it. All you need to know is this:
Rated R for disturbing sexual content involving children, and for language.