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Monday, January 14, 2008

How To Kill Your Career In One Easy Step

Everyone who was around in the early 1980s and who listened to music knew who Billy Squier was. He was pretty massive and his albums Don't Say No (1980) and Emotions in Motion (1982) spawned a bunch of big singles: "In the Dark," "The Stroke," "My Kind of Lover," "Lonely is the Night," "Everybody Wants You. " He was all over DC101.

His biggest radio hit--"Rock Me Tonight"--proved to be his downfall. Released in 1984, the song is inoffensive enough, but the video...holy fuck. I mean, I prance around my loft apartment in a peach tank top, but at least I have the good sense not to film it and release it to MTV. This is five minutes of a guy who thinks he's an excellent dancer, but is most emphatically not a good dancer.

The best moment is at 1:26 when he rips his first tank top. Then at 1:28 he replaces it with another tank top, which appears to have an even deeper scoop neck than the first, and is peach-colored.

And when I say "killed his career," I mean it. Nobody heard from this dude ever again.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Would "I prance around my apartment" not have sufficed?

>>>I prance around my loft apartment

Anonymous said...

oh, i get it. he's in a loft apartment, thus the comparison. i thought you were laying down an "I want you to know i live in a loft apartment" rap.

Jimbromski said...

Nah, as you correctly noted in your second comment, Squier's apt is lofty, with the exposed brick, hardwood floors, and pipes running up the wall. Perfect for prancing sessions.

I bet he's got an entire walk-in closet dedicated to tank tops and scoop necks.

I live in a house in the 'burbs, also good for prancing and crawling on the floor when the mood strikes me.

Neg Nolt said...

Which one of you is Jimbromski again? Is it the gay guy on the left side of the couch that is staring lovingly into the eyes of the husky balding dude on the right side of the couch?

Seriously - you have to clear this up for everyone. I mean, it's going to be hard to take the guy on the left of the couch seriously.

I bet the guy on the left side of the couch is "sacklunch" because his favorite lunch is his boyfriend's sack. Am I right? I'm right. I know it. You don't have to answer that question.

Anyway, I like this site. I think I'll be back to rattle some cages in the future.

-Neg Nolt

chip chanko said...

I think it's fairly obvious that since he is stating "bring on the rhythm when I hold you near" as he first grasps the peach tank top (1:07) and it floats in the air (1:10) is that it represents his lover. I'm not sure why he puts it on rather than call his lover over to put it on. Perhaps his lover saw the video?

Jimbromski said...

His lover is obviously the hairy-chested bass player, they hug in the end.

I, Jimbromski, am the twink on the couch. I am not ashamed.

KCG said...

No, no, no, NO! What is happening? Guys! Get to a rock show FAST and start reviewing again. The last two days have been very rock-lite. This is the kind of fluff you might find on www.ntyamb.com. Jimbo, aside from your one f-bomb, this post just does not sound like you.

KCG
Author of www.ntyamb.com

Super Zoe said...

Don't listen to KCG! These posts are great! Very insightful and entertaining! He's just miffed because Billy Squier never returned his peach tank top.

Rob said...

jimbo, told you the cardigan wasn't fooling anyone...

note to self: when you're the lead in a rock band, always have a "rock kick"-off with the drummer, then fall on him. badass.

J said...

Oh how the mighty have fallen (or fell)... I used to be proud to say my first concert was Billy Squier (with Ratt opening) at Merriweather Post. But I must have blocked this trainwreck of a video out of my mind. But, I'll go to the mat to defend Don't Say No. :-)

By the way, I like how at the end of the video the peach scoop-neck tank top is accessorized with a bandanna around hi neck. Or is that technically a cravat?